I Burn Irish Dudes and I Walk the Line Behind ODB and his Bad Assness..Recaplets

Brief recap cause I skipped last week and it will take, like forever to write a recap and I know you wanna get to the good stuff..

Last Week:

You Gotta Fight for your Right to Burn Irish Dudes to a Crisp: 205

Raj and Porkman are have a luvah's quarrel over Molly and her catatonic state.
Raj blames Porkman and wants to take Molly to a hospital.
Porkman wants to find Father Porkman to make this all worthwhile.
Porkman finds Pop Porkman with the help of Man Without a Face Patrelli.
Pop's and Porkman do not have a happy reunion.
Poppa Porkman traps Porkman and Man Without a Face in some nightmare land and escapes.
Porkman and MWF escape but vow to find the fucker.
Porkman and MWF also find a photo of Ned Ryerson with the F thing on his face.

Sol Glo's Super Cousin.
Super Cousin talks about Jesus and does this weird thing with her mouth.
She also, with the help of Sol Glo, figure out her power.
Sol Glo and Super Cousin take a day to do some double dutch, learn kung fu and then Super Cousin gets an offer from Raj that she can't refuse.

Meanwhile back at the docks in ye old Ireland or whatever..
The traitor from the Irish Gang is all talks with Veronica Mars.
Veronica is looking for P-town.
Traitor spills the beans and gives up P-town all shacked up with Chipmunk.
Veronica sasses the traitor, walks away but not before she shows her supah power..
Veronica Mars is straight up Powder...

Chipmunk's Irish Bro-town.
Tells Peter that Powder is looking for him.
Irish bro-town will deal with Powder and asks Peter to go and hide in a deluxe flat in the sky with the lady C.

Peter and Chipmunkland.
So in love.
Makin' out.
Peter tells chipmunk that she is all he needs, he is not going to open his box and blah blah, let's go hump.
Then he opens the box.
All he finds is a one way ticket from San Francisco to Montreal, his passport and some cash.
Wah, wah, blab, blab, blabcakes.
Chipmunkland tries to calm P-town down with her luck of the Irish.
P-town is more interested in using her paints then her...
Peter paints a swell picture of he and the Lady C in front of some place in Montreal.
Powder shows up and asks Lady-C's bro where P-dog is.
He lies.
She burns him to a crisp.
Later, Powder talks to her dad on a cell phone that looks way to big for her face.
Daddy gets all pissy at what Powder has done and takes her off the magical mystery tour.



Ando Looks Good in a Suit.
Gets some scientist dude to reveal the missing letters from Hiro's scrolls.
Story goes, Hiro, Hottpants Kensei and The Princess are en route to save the Princess's dad.
Huge army between them and daddy White Beard.
Only the three of them to fight the humongotron army
Then the story ends and the scientist needs more time.
Cliffhanger and one only hopes that this plot line jumps up a notch cause I am in snoozeville..



And now...Recap #2 cause I lagged again and with a new episode tonight I don't want to lag anymore since this show may not be here much longer with the strike and all..

Walkin' The Line: 206

Anywho.


The Lady-C and Patrelli Pants.
We have had only an episode between the death of the her bro, the head of the leprechaun gang and the Lady C is ovah it.
All is fine and dandy as Peter apologizes and vows to find the person who killed Everlast.
He must go to Montreal cause that is what was in his drawring.
The Lady C wants to help.
P-town protests but Lady C reminds him that she is in that painting too.
Oh and she wants to be there when he finds whoever did this to her bro cause she wants to kill the bitch.
Lady C, hiding those chompers for some fangs, nice.
Can I tell you though, this ho is getting on my nerves.
The accent, the overly curled hair, her wide nose.
All of it.
I am finito.
Please. Kill. Her. Off.
So flash forward to Peter and Lady C going to Montreal.
They find themselves at the door that is in the painting with the S symbol thingy on it.
By the by, P-town looking hott. Wearing a black trench coat and some nice pants.
Also, I applaud the person who told ol' Pete to cut that emo hair of his.
Anywho, when the Lady C and P-town enter the room there is like a ton of crap in it.
One piece of crap has a note to Peter.
The note is from someone named Adam Monroe and basically tells P-town that The Company is evil and the world is in muy peligroso.
P-town freaks out and Lady-C gives him a hug and with that the two time travel to Times Square dateline Apocalypse Now.
Wait, didn't this happen last season already or..


CB at cheerleading tryouts.
The girl who probably tried out for the Claire character but didn't get it due to her looking 30 instead of 16 and who has a pan face and an all around annoying disposition tells Claire she ain't got it and to get outta town with those moves.
Claire says bring it and they have a dance off.
I kid.
Claire's gets all squinty with an I'm gonna get you sucka face and whines to creepy boyfriend that ODB will have her head for lying about getting into cheerleading.
So creepy stalker boyfriend, who I have decided totally reminds me of David Copperfield and will now be deemed so, tells Claire to stop with the brattitude and get back at the bitch.
The two come up with a plan that plays out with Claire coming to the Toro's practice, as the faux Claire is getting drunk, yep I said drunk and asking if she can speak with the ho loner style.
The Ho agrees, the two have a stare off as David Copperfield comes flying through the air, grabs C-dog and drops her to the ground.
C-dog lays there all Humpty Dumpty style.
David Copperfield then attacks the drunk ass and she runs screaming.
Two seconds later as the cops arrive to question the Head Ho, Claire shows up and asks what happens.
The Head Ho looks in amazement and the cops decide that this girl to toe up and needs AA immediat monte.
Claire gets put on the team as the Head Ho gets kicked off the team and will be in B-show hell por vida.
Meanwhile, does anyone get the feeling that David Copperfield spells trouble for Claire and the she is totally F'd and not in the good way?




Super Cousin and Raj.
Doin some gymnastics.
Super Cousin, I mean.
Raj is all, you are fabulous.
Super Cousin makes that weird lip action thing and then wants to go home.
Ned cruises in.
He wants to talk to Raj in private.
Ned wants Raj to inject Super Cousin with some crap that will suppress her powers and make her a nobody.
Raj flips, throws a chair, destroys the vials of anti-hero goo and declares that he will be taking Molly home.
Years later, Ned and Raj have a heart to heart.
Ned tells Raj that he was outta line and he doesn't want Raj or more importantly Molly, to roll out.
Raj tells Ned he can't trust him.
Ned says he will have a partner for Raj that will be a mediator and allow Raj to do his work as well as keep The Company's interest.
The mediator ends up being Niki who probably is Jessica and you know she going to kick some ass...




ODB and I like em black, white, Puerto Rican or Haitian, end up in Russia with some dude named Ivan.
Ivan has a family and a life.
He also works for The Company and therefore is evil.
He also seems to have trained ODB.
ODB threatens to erase Ivan's memory of his family and life in general if he doesn't tell ODB where the Mr. Isaac's paintings are.
Ivan tells ODB that he should join The Company again, all is forgiven and he can get his life back.
Long story short, Ivan caves, ODB straight up murders his ass and then finds the paintings.
I will say I was super bummed that ODB killed the guy.
But ODB is a bad ass and he ain't got time to bleed.
ODB and The Haitian go to a warehouse and find some paintings.
With the help of my friends at Television Without Pity the paintings show, "a hand with a vial, a blonde woman who appears to be trapped, Hiro and Kensei fighting, a guy who might be Peter or Sylar who's holding a smoking gun, and Bennet's own painting."
ODB again asks what does it all mean.
I ask the same freakin' question and with this strike happening I better get some answers soon or the Heroe's writers will go the way of Ivan.



Hiro, Hott Kensei and Princess Pants.
Rescuing Princess Pants' pops.
Pops tells the Hiro and Hott-town that the army has guns and they do not stand a chance.
Hiro tells Pops that Hott Kensei can handle it and they are off to battle.
But Hiro fucks up, stops time, declares his love to the Princess and makes out with her in full view of Hott Kensei.
Hott Kensei confronts Hiro.
Hiro apologizes, tells Hott Kensei that it means nothing cause the Princess is his Hott Kensei's hott piece and that Hott Kensei needs to still save the world.
Hott Kensei says word up, knocks out Hiro, takes Pops and Princess Pants hostage and joins forces with the evil Japanese dudes with guns.
Good one Hiro. All this to lose your virginity. Nice, you douche.



Finally, Sylar, Junk in the Trunk and Twin Brother.
They get across the border but not before Junk in the Trunk makes the border patrol get all black in the eye which creates mutiny between her brother, herself and Sylar.
You see Sylar made Junk use her power against the border patrol dudes against the wishes of Twin Brother.
Once across the border, Junk and Twin Brother fight it out with Junk leaning towards the angel that is Gabriel.
Junk excuses herself to get something to clean up Sylar's boo boo.
Sylar and Twin Brother have a pissing contest where Sylar basically spills the beans that he will be killing the twins once he gets his power back.
He also growls that Junk is his pawn and that until he gets his power back he will be using hers against the world in general.
This is all excellent and helpful knowledge for Twin Brother to know.
Except Sylar laid his plan out in English and Alejandro only speaks Spanish.
Bummer...


Next week...
A full recap!

So sweet I wanna crap my pants..

Please tell me you are watching Lucy, the Daughter of the Devil.
Lucy is a cartoon on Adult Swim and it is..awesome!
Here is the link to the official website, http://lucy.thefluidimage.com/.
Watch The Special Fathers vs. The Vampire Altar Boys here
That's right, I wrote vampire altar boys.
Watch it, get in the Halloween spirit and live the dream...

I know all there is to know about the crying game...

Hi there homas.
It has been a long time.
I was out and about.
Making some friends.
Making some enemies.
I live a dangerous life, what of it?
I got some good, good gossip.
You ready?



So Jake G.
Mayor of Gay Town.
I know, I know, I've been saying it for years.
I just can't quit it.
Yep, I went there.
The newest piece of gossip is that Jake and his hot piece have adopted a baby and will be coming outta the closet.
Yep. Un baby.
Page Six has a blind item about it and to me, Page Six is the freakin' bible of gossip.
The gist of the story follows plus some photos of Jake and his sweet luvah..
The Source Awards




Perusing this new JJ blog, I found another gay item.
Jessica Biel.
Look, I like the girl.
JT can do no wrong by me and now that he has left one half of my League of Extraordinarily Lame Archenemies that is Diaz, he's like friggin' Midas.
This JJ is sayin that Ms. Biel is Grand Poobah of Lesbo Island.
I dunno.
I guess her homegirl grabbed her ass during a football game.
Whateves.
Here is the photo and the story.
You make the call.
Shake it
Image Source





A photo of Gwen, her super cute kid and a stuffed cat in a wagon.
I pose a question.
How in the hell does Gwen keep her frickin’ hair lookin’ that damn good?
I mean, sister soldier has been bleaching her hair since my sister has been using horsehair shampoo.
And that my friends, is a long f’ing time.
Her hair should be unlike that movie Unbreakable.
Does that make sense?
What I'm sayin’ is, Gwen's hair should have gone the way of her single shred of talent, which she lost like twenty years ago at Cal State Fullerton, when she would wear petty coats and had black roots.
Am I right?
Source




Dude.
Peter Jackson.
Remember that one time when Peter Jackson was a gigantic fat ass?
I do.
And then he lost a ton of weight and became evil like Jared S. Fogle?
You don't?
You want me to prove it?
The dude fired my hott piece Ryan Gosling.
You read right dudes.
Gosling gained weight and grew a sweet beard for his role as father in the film adaptation of The Lovely Bones.
Jackson was unhappy with the look and fired my sweet, sweet piece of man ass.
Dude, Jackson, slow your freakin' roll.
Remember when you had to have specially made pants so that your fat ass could be covered as to not gross out the hobbits?
I call shenanigans on that fucking asshole.
He couldn't handle Gosling looking super freaking awesome with a little chub and beard on him and he got all Dorian Grey on his ass.
I piss on you Jackson.
Piss on you and your weirdly sexualized hobbit love, you tub of lard.
Here is the Lord of Hottness, aka Gosling for your pleasure..


Source Awards
Fatty Source





Keep an eye out for the Tina Fey film Baby Mama.
My homegirl Amy Pohler is in it and she, like JT, can do no wrong by me.
Synopsis





Sacha Baron Cohen and Isla Fisher welcomed baby Olive, Roctober 17.
Sweet.
Ms. Fisher looked like she was about to birth Peter Jackson so I'm stoked that baby is out.
Me likey.






Angelina Jolie has stopped looking like Skeletor and now looks more like Cobra Commander.
I think she looks swell.
I guess that's what eating will do to you.
She Once Kissed Her Bro





Drew Barrymore is doing some movie where she is in a 40's style bikini and I can see cellulite.
Halle frickin’ lujah.
Thank you sweet fat that is collected in thigh area.
This is good, good times.
Now if only she would stop dating my homeboy from the MAC commercials and be exiled with Diaz to an island with cannibals, my life would be a complete success.
Cheese




Some photos courtesy of OK!







Alright ladies and gents, I am off.
I am getting around to watching Heroes and will update soon..
Peaces Greases..

A Little Strange on the Side 2.4

Heroes dun dun dun dun dun dun dun Heroes.. (Think of the theme song to He-man when you do the dun dun part)


Bennet Hizouse.

BA ODB is staring at that piece of shit painting that shows him with a freaking hole in his eye as his daughter is making out in the background.
Claire is a dirty bird.
Mom Who Talks Out the Side of Her Mouth walks in the room and ODB asks her if Claire is makin it with a dude.
Claire walks in and ODB asks if she is riding someone's pole.
Claire gets all liar and lies and says no.
Cause what is she going to say. Yeah dad, I'm dating this stalker who took me on The Neverending Story ride in the sky and wants to straight murder your ass cause you dissected him for The Company.
Uh no.


Poltergeist Molly and her woodchuck teeth wake from a dream.
The dream features that F thing the HottPants P to the E to the trelli had on his neck and is also featured on the death photos that the original heroes are getting before their demise.
Matt Porkman, cause you know homeboy has been gorging food or switched places with his ex-wife and is giving birth any day now, runs in the room and tries to calm the woodchuck.
Raj and Porkman have a lovah's moment and Raj goes in to sing to Molly as Porkman watches with sweet, sweet lust from the corner.


Grizzly man Petrelli comes to visit his kids at their school to tell them about their grandma being in the hospital.
Grizzly man has to talk to them through the gates because he is not allowed to see them.
He tells his sons that he will be home soon.
Then he gets all weepy and thinks about cutting some trees and entering a logging contest.


Ghetto Booty, Alejandro and their sidekick Derek are driving.
The car abruptly stops on the road as some dude is lying on the road.
Who can it be?
It is non other then...
Sylar.
Now, does someone want to explain to me how in the hell Sylar got out of Gilligan’s Island?
Cause it looked like he was surrounded by nothing but trees.
Perhaps after the commercial I will find some clarity.
Cause I aint the only one confused.
I mean unless after eating Candice's brain he was able to retain her eating ability and ate his way through the forest.
Just a thought.



Some kid from Good Burger wakes Sol Glo up.
They go down to breakfast where Grandma Uhura cooks breakfast.
We find out that Sol Glo, Grandma Uhura, Good Burger and Good Burger's sister live in New Orleans.
Good Burger wants some cash for a pay-per-view wrestling match.
Blah, blah, blah no cash from the family.
Grandma Uhura blathers on about good TV or whatever.
Good Burger's sister laughs at the cooking show that Grandma is watching and at the chef's making a rose outta a tomato.
I assume this will come in handy later.
Sol Glo tells Good Burger he can help a brother out.
Boring.


Bitchy Petrelli is in the hospital with The Chief and Porkman.
Bitchy looks less like a Mexican whore and more like, well, just a whore.
She confesses to killing Mr. Sulu.
I guess the police think she tried to kill herself due to her guilt as her wounds from the attack at the station were found to be self-inflicted.
Which is not true cause the Invisible Space Ghost from Coast to Coast did it while Bitchy was in custody.
Porkman listens to Bitchy's thoughts as she tells him to write down the confession and let this go,
Bitchy, through her thoughts, tells Porkman that if the cops keep digging they will find out about the heroes and what they can do.
Then she repeats let it go like to twenty times.
Dude, the guy can listen to your thoughts.
He isn't deaf you freakin idiot.
I think he got it and no, he won't let it go. Cause Porkman has got that look in his eye and it isn’t the look of lust that he gave Raj.
That's the look, that's the look, the look of I'm on the case and I'm not letting you take the fall Bitchy,


CB is asked by some ho to join the cheerleading squad.
I mean we all saw this coming.
Claire could not be Claire if she wasn't "The Cheerleader"
West meets up with CB and she breaks the news that they can't hang out anymore.
West asks if it was because they flew together and maybe that freaked Claire out.
Dude.
Cause we flew together?
How can any actor say that with a straight face?
CB says her parents are overprotective.
Actually, Claire is thinking that my dad was the one that probed your ass.
West coaxes Claire into one more night. Just give me on more night, cause I can't wait forever.
Ah Phil, you have made this scene so much better.


Shaved off his beard Petrelli yells at Porkman about interrogating his moms in the hospital.
Porkman takes NP to the side and tells him he can read thoughts and he knows that Bitchy is innocent but the other cops will arrest her.
NP and Porkman start freaking out as they figure out that Bitchy, Poltergeist Molly, the F symbol and the Heroes are all connected.
The two decide to team up but first NP wants some time with his mutha.
Bitchy explains that she confessed to killing Mr. Sulu because it's time to pay the price.
NP tells her to help him help her and to show him the money. Not that last part, I lied. Sorry.
Bitchy tells Peter that just cause he shaved does not make him clean and sober and that he needs to enter a program.
So the plot thickens.
The cops cuff Bitchy and she is wheeled out like a paraplegic whore.
I know dudes; hell has a place for me and the writers of Heroes if they kill of ODB.


Ghetto Booty, Alejandro, Derek and Sylar are on a...ROAD TRIP!!! Owwwww.. How fun!
Sylar lies that he was robbed and is returning to America and Ghetto spills the beans about going to America to find Raj's dad.
Wow, what a small world.
Sylar is going back to New York and he knows Dr. Suresh and he will take Ghetto and Alejandro to him.
He fails to tell them that he know Suresh cause he killed the dude but that is a minor, minor detail.
Sylar lies again and says his name is Gabriel. Liar.
Ghetto gets all Jesus freak and thanks God for this miracle and for showing them the path.
God laughs at this cause the path leads to Ghetto's head being sliced open.
Alejandro thinks something stinks in Denmark.
I think the end is near for Derek.
Sylar gets all weirdo cause his Sylar watch is broken.
Ghetto's booty is tired of sitting on this long car ride.


Sol Glo's lady relative Monica sings Whitney chops tomatoes and talks to her coworker about getting out. Getting anywhere, getting all the way to the F...B...I.
Actually she talks about losing everything to Katrina and taking the managers test at the fast food chain she works.
She hopes this will lead to her going back to school and moving the family out of New Orleans.
Her friend poo poo's the idea.
Nice friend.
As Monica is talking she makes a flower out of the tomato she is cutting.
Just like on TV. I told you guys!
Looks like Sol Glo may not be the only family member with a power.
Dun Dun Dun!
Monica's manager pulls her aside to tell her she won't make it as a manager.
She is sad and I am too cause this plot line is LAME.


CB lies and says she is going to library to write a report about libraries.
Good one dude. Do you know who your dad is?
You can't roll with that Claire.
She tells ODB she will walk to school to write her paper.
ODB smells something rotten and follows CB only to lose her as West whisks her away.
LAME. Again. LAME.


Nathan and Porkman.
Looking at photos.
Porkman and NP are sharing. Actually Porkman is.
Come to find out that Porkman's ex-wife was pregnant with the dude she cheated on Porkman with.
Nice.
NP finds the photo with all the oldie but goodie heroes on it.
Almost all of the peeps in the photo are dead.
Except for Bitchy, Ned Ryerson or Bob as he is called on the show, some lady and dun dun dun, Porkman's dad!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Dude.
Plot just got good and then we come back to Monica and a montage of the Katrina disaster.
LAME.
Monica wants out of New Orleans cause she feels like she is meant for greatness.
I smell Sol Glo robbing banks and helping the fam out.


CB and West atop the Hollywood sign.
CB chitchats about life before California and wanting to trust someone.
West tells her to trust him.
To do that he wants her to jump from the Hollywood sign. Way to go Romeo.
So she does.
And he catches her.
LAME.
He tells her that he never wants anyone to hurt her.
They kiss and I run to the bathroom to barf.


Sol Glo gets pay per view for Good Burger.
Monica comes home and is sad.
Sol Glo and Monica have a tender moment as Monica stares at the wrestling and gets all hero town and shit and you know she is going to use the moves she saw on TV on someone cause her power is the ability to see something and copy it.
Got it.
Phew.

Porkman, Raj and Poltergeist.
Porkman tells them that he needs to find his dad cause there is some deep doo doo going on and he thinks his dad is a part of it.
You see, Porkman's dad left when he was 13 cause he stole a lot of money and was wanted by some folks.
Porkman shows the group photo and points out his dad to Poltergeist and Raj and Poltergeist freaks.
She tells them that Porkman's dad is the nightmare man she sees, um, in her nightmares.
Dun, dun, dun!!!!


NP is looking at pictures of his hotter, younger brother.
He tells Hottpants' picture that he is going to make things right.
Then he looks at himself in the mirror and that leathery, burned, kid from the Mask looking dude is looking back.
NP goes all rage against the machines and punches the mirror while yelling at the Mask dude to get away from him.
Looks like somebody get f'd up when he took Peter to never, never land.
Yep, looks like it.


CB and West.
Please. Make. This. Scene. A. Quickie.
West encourages Claire to lie to ODB so they can see each other again.
I don't like that kid. Not one bit.


Mexico.
Derek finds a newspaper with a photo of Ghetto and Alejandro with the words Murder on it.
Derek freaks and tells Sylar they need to ditch them.
Sylar tells Derek to go call the po-po and then turns around and straight up murders his ass.
I told you Derek ya douche.
Sylar plays it straight and asks the wonder twins to tell him the truth cause Derek is calling the police.
Ghetto starts to freak out and gets the black shit in her eyes and Sylar starts to feel the effects.
Sweet Valley High shows off their wares to Sylar and Alejandro saves the day. Again.
Sylar gets that evil gleam in his eye as he tells Ghetto and her bro that he understands what they are going through and will help them.
Help them die.


Claire and ODB.
Claire lies and tells ODB that she was late cause she tried out for the cheerleading squad.
ODB accepts his daughters cheerleading dreams but makes her promise that she cannot date for now.
She agrees but feels like poop.
The Haitian shows up to tell ODB that he has a lead on the paintings and that they are in the Ukraine.
So he has to lie to his fam.
Which is fine cause I lurv him and he cannot do anything wrong. Ever.


Raj, Porkman and Poltergeist.
Porkman has got to find his pops to see if he is a murdering bastard.
Raj gets all, Porkman you have daddy issues and you can't use Poltergeist to find your pop.
Porkman's all, whateves I'm trying to help.
Poltergeist gets all; I'll help you Porkman just promise me you'll lay off the fat.


Monica is closing up the burger joint for the night.
Dude breaks in.
She uses the wrestling move that she saw on TV to take that bitch down.
I told you.


Back to Porkman, Raj, Poltergeist.
Poltergeist gets all trance town and finds Porkman's dad's homestead.
She freaks and says the nightmare dude is coming for her.
She then goes into some coma as Parkman hears her thoughts and she is screaming for help....



Next week,
Veronica Mars finally shows up.
Hottpants eyes get all Storm from X-men and his shirt is off. Again. Owww...
Porkman's ex-wife shows up with some gigantic freaking baby.
Nathan sees Hottpants.
And I will not be able to recap until the middle of next week.
Sorry.
Call me Kutch!
Later Skaters..

xo

Count how many times I write douche in this here post...

Hi kids,
I have been super busy.
Super busy learning the lyrics to the new Kanye West song Stronger.
Yep, real busy.
Two things.
One, Kanye says me likey in the song.
Two, Kanye says,
"You know how long I've been on ya?
Since Prince was on Apollonia
Since OJ had Isotoners
Don't act like I never told ya."
Prince and Apollonia?
OJ and Isotoners?
Me likey?
Kanye, me likey.
You can be a douche.
But with these lyrics you may have just moved up to semi-douche status.
Don't fret, I'm sure you'll be back to being mayor of doucheland soon enough.


Things have been quiet in the gossip world.
I'm sure you all heard that J Lo and Skeletor are pregnant with twins.
I have a feeling that these douche twins may or may not have gigantic asses that you could pitch a tent in.
Or I could be wrong and the devil is currently holding a place for me in hell cause I called babies douches.
Whateves.


Orlando Bloom got in some accident.
I guess he's okay but the ladies in his car were injured.
I can't care about Legoland.
I mean he can be hot and all but the dude seems like total douche.
He also ruined a Cameron Crowe film and has been kissed by Kiki Fangerton.
That, like getting your lovah's name tattooed on you, is the kiss of death.



Anthony Kiedis is a dad.
He and his girlfriend Heather Christie welcomed son Everly Bear on October 2.
Yes, I said Everly Bear.
I mean come on people.
What happened to normie names?
Everly Bear.
Do you want your son to grow up to be some 47 year-old former rock star burn out, who has a band that has a new album but somehow manages to make all the new songs sound like every other song on every other album but if you put some mention of California in the title or lyrics it just might make it okay, hippie jam festival douchebag?
Do you?
Well with a name like Everly Bear you just sealed his fate.
Why don't you ask Kiki Fangerton to come on over and kiss your baby and then his doomed life will be complete.
So, uh, congrats to the new parents!



Here are some photos of some douches.



Natalie Portman arrives at the 22nd annual American Cinematheque Awards honoring Julia Roberts.





Julia Roberts at the 22nd annual American Cinematheque Awards honoring her ass.





Doucheth Paltrow @ Established & Sons Gallery opening in London





Rachel Bilson walking her pup in Los Angeles.



Non-douchey peeps this way..

Dita at the Monique Lhuillier Salon opening in Los Angeles.





Miss Reece "My Divorce is Final" Witherspoon arrives to the premiere of "Rendition"




The Source Award


A lo me gusta homies..

Peaces Greases...

BA ODB and I are Kindred Spirits-2.3

And we're back.

So Hottpants Patrelli starts this episode and who wouldn't want him to, I mean really.
The head o' the Leprechauns has offered Peter a box that contains his identity if he helps him and the rest of the potatoe farmers steal a pot o' gold.
Yep, totally dissed the Irish three times in that one sentence.
Sorry.
Anywho, Leprechaun Larry lays out the plan.
Hottpants and the crew are going to steal payola from some bookies.
Peter agrees.
In the meantime, Peter uses Matt Parkman's heroic power and overhears one of crewmembers thoughts of stealing the money after the money is stolen.
Peter confronts the dude and Leprechaun Larry straight up disses his ass.
You see Hottpants Patrelli, Leprechaun Larry says, my crew has special wonder twins activate tattoos.
How can you know my crew, Leprechaun continues, when you don't even know yourself?
Aww Snap!


Alejandro and Maya Junk in the Trunk are running. Again.
Alejandro tells Maya she needs to eat.
Her ass says no. Then Maya says no.
At least drink some water, Alejandro says. You have foot blisters, Alejandro says.
TMI, I say.
Maya whines that they can't stop. Must. Keep. Going.
So Alejandro, being the genius that he is, decides to steal a car and the 5-O is on their tale.
It so happens that the fuzz is kinda a tub of lard and yet he manages to apprehend the Alejandro while Maya and her ass cower in garbage.


Do you remember the Soul Glo commercial from Coming to America?
You know the dude in the commercial?
Actually this might help refresh your memory, Soulglo
Did you ever wonder what happened to him?
I always do and I was pleasantly surprised to see that he is currently playing the character of Micah on Heroes.
So Soul Glo and Niki the Two Face are having a mother and son bonding session at the local cemetery.
Looks like D to the L moved on up to that deluxe apartment in the sky.
Niki the Two Face has decided to drop off Soul Glo with a relative in New Orleans.
That’s right I said, New Orleans with a relative, who happens to be Uhura of the Star Trek series.
Anywho, Niki the Two Face has decided to join The Company in order to be cured of her powers.
Niki calls The Company and Ned Ryerson answers.
He tells her that they will cure her but she must do something for them first.
Once a ho, always a ho.
Am I right?


Enter Sylar.
Nice.
Actually it's Candice and Sylar but Candice isn't Candice from last season she's redheaded ho Michelle from this season.
Candice/Michelle blathers to Sylar that she found him in the local sewer at Kirby Plaza and has nursed him back to health.
Did I mention that Candice/Michelle and Sylar are lying on a tropical beach?
Candice/Michelle sips Mai Tai's with her 80's white plastic earrings swinging in the breeze while Sylar lies back in a lounge chair wearing a Hawaiian print shirt.
Wait, something ain't right here.
Sylar is in a Hawaiian print shirt?
Candice then explains that this is all an illusion and that Sylar really doesn't want to see the truth.
He can't handle the truth.
Sylar growls at Candice/Michelle bring him into the real thing.
Candice/Michelle breaks the illusion and she, Sylar and Sylar's emorific hair are shown in a dingy old bunker with Sylar's stomach all bloody and patched up with gauze.
Awesome.


BA ODB and Claire's house.
Claire asks the ODB what would happen if someone at school found out her true identity.
ODB tells her The Apocalypse would happen.
Claire gets all scrunchy face.
Cut to Claire at school telling Stalker West what one would tell any freaking Peeping Tom who saw one chop off their toe only to have it grow back again. Pedicure.
Stalker West gets all whatever.
Claire's all, what's your deal?
Stalker West's all, I just want you to admit that you are different then everyone.
Um, yeah.

Raj and Parkman get into a domestic tiff over Poltergeist Molly and Raj working in the citayyyyyyyyy.
Parkman gets all; I can't protect you and Poltergeist Molly or her frickin teeth.
Raj is all I can take care of myself and I can help with Molly and her dental hygiene.
Blah, blah, blah next issue.

Ando finds a hidden compartment in a samurai sword that Hiro has left for him.
Inside are teeny tiny scrolls that Hiro has left for Ando letting him know what he's been up to this summer.
I wonder if he used a teeny tiny pen.
Anywho, Hiro tells Ando of Hott Kensei and how he totally blows as a hero and is kind of a scam artist.
I would like to scam on Hott Kensei.
Scam. Totally 80's.
Anyways, Hiro writes to Ando that he is in love with Princess Party Pants and that he is trying to teach Hott Kensei to be a true hero.
More scrolls tell Ando that Hiro left Hott Kensei to fight some serious Samurai dudes now that Hott Kensei knows he can regenerate.
Hott Kensei defeats the Samurai's, wins the love of Princess Party Pants and Hiro decides to stay in the past to pine after the Princess and watch Hott Kensei and the Princess make out.
I would like to stay and make out with Hott Kensei.
Hiro ends his teeny tiny scroll letters with a later skater, KIT and finally BFF.


Next is a brief moment with Hott Petrelli with his shirt off talking to the woodland creature that is Caitlin.
I don't know what they said and it wasn't important.
Peter has a six-pack but needs to stop wearing the flannel.


Stalker West and Claire in class.
Stalker blathers on about lizards regenerating and people regenerating and Claire runs out of the classroom crying.
Stalker comes out to comfort her by showing Claire that he is different too.
So different that Heroes has their first big f'n cheesy moment to commemorate Stalker showing CB that he can fly.
Dudes. It pained me to watch these two flying in the sky.
Pained me.
Talk about a douchey moment.
Claire looking all wow.
Stalker looking all yep, u huh, I can fly.
And then there is me crying alone in a corner with vomit that came up in my mouth a little.


Hottie Boombalottie Patrelli and the Leprechauns.
Money is stolen and the day is saved by Peter who moves a frickin two-ton truck in the way of the Irish fuzz.
If he had had his shirt off and was showin his guns, this seen woulda been a whole lot better.


Raj and Ned Ryerson in Mr. Ballsac's studio.
Ned Ryerson and The Company have turned this doomed loft into Raj's new state of the art lab.
Ned tells Raj that The Company will be keeping a close eye on him to help him with whatever he needs.
Also to kill him if he fucks them over. Ned didn't say that but he really didn't have to.


Maya and her ass come to save her brother.
The tub of lard cop had no idea that he is holding a murderer until Maya shows him the Wanted poster.
Tub of Lard gets the clue and goes to arrest Maya.
However Maya has a few tricks up her ass.
As soon as the cop’s manhandle Maya, she gets all uppity and the black crap starts gettin up in them guts.
All the folks in jail start to ooze the poo out of their eyes and Alejandro is set free.
Alejandro and Maya get all Sweet Valley High and hold hands so that Alejandro can save the day and clear away the shit.
Two interesting things come from this storyline.
1. Maya shows a little evil by purposefully getting herself all riled up to spew the poo.
2. Alejandro's cellmate, who has told Alejandro that he looks like ass, is set free as well and offers to drive the twinners to freedom...



Ireland.
The crew is back with the cash and all is well.
Except for the one dude who tries to steal the money like he said he was going to do.
Peter intervenes and gets shot in the process.
Bullets can't stop his sweet ass and he puts the Jedi mind trick on the bad dudes neck.
Here is the cool thing about this scene.
Peter gets a little Sylar on the dude and would have kept on chokingthe bitch if it wasn't for the woodchuck that is Caitlin.
Nice.
Battling the good and evil.
Friends become enemies.
Enemies become friends.
All with his shirt on.
Damn it Heroes writers!
Make the dude earn it by showing of his sixer.


Sylar and Candice/Michelle.
Candice offers up her illusionist services and the service of those she works for to Sylar.
Oh and world domination or whateves.
Sylar goes agro.
He does his version of the Jedi mind-trick and cuts
candice/Michelle's brain open and goes to town.
Here are the cool things about this scene.
Candice/Michelle is indeed a great big fat person.
Sylar cannot use the powers that he has just ingested as he has done before.
And Sylar is in some metal shack in the middle of the jungle on Gilligan's Island.


Peter, in a wife beater, getting a tattoo from chipmunk that is Caitlin.
It's the wonder twins activate tattoo.
Leprechaun Larry thanks Peter for his services and gives him his box of life.
Peter ponders opening the box cause he's afraid of finding out who he is.
Also, he's freaked due to the fact that he almost straight up murdered someone's ass.
Caitlin the Beaver tells him he's a good soul.
Then she proceeds to knaw at his face.
Oh wait, she's just kissing him.
Meanwhile the tattoo heals quick style.
Is it fading into the F thing that adorns Peter's bling?
Or is that just me?

Stalker and Claire make out on the beach.
Claire notices that stalker has a mark on his neck.
Stalker explains that he was abducted and that he will never forget the face of the dude that took him.
Two words. Horn-rimmed glasses.


Raj is in the lab and gets a free moment from Ned to call ODB.
Raj looks for the next painting in the series that Mr. Ballsac painted per ODB's instruction.
Raj tells ODB that The Company is like white on rice.
ODB tells him to Shut. The. Fuck. Up. Find the painting.
Raj does just that and a look of surprise and consternation comes over his face.
He sends a hi-tech jpeg of the photo to ODB.
The audience sees that those mother-f'ing writers think it's cool to fuck with the ODB and me.
The painting shows a man with a bullet hole through his glasses, bloody and dead and a blonde in the corner making out with some dude in the shadows.
Um basically, if this is supposed to be BA ODB, you can go fuck yourself Heroes.
Cause you cannot roll like that.
Just like Coke, BA ODB is it.
So figure something out and kill off the fricking boring ass Hiro storyline and the Sweet Valley High twins with black shit coming out of their eyes instead of the ODB.
Do it.

Eh hem.
BA ODB stares at the photo with his smooth acting job as Claire takes a cue from her stalker boyfriend and sneaks up on pops.
And then ODB and I Believe I Can Fly Claire have a staring contest.


Next week,
BA ODB lives forever.
Peter takes his shirt off.
Something radical happens cause Heroes is losing its audience big time..

Tomorrow, tomorrow I lurv you..

Full Heroes review tomorrow.
So much to say.
Flying like The Neverending Story.
Sylar is back with a halfie shirt, no shoes, no powers.
Hott Pants Peter is back without a shirt and with some of Sylar's power.
CB's boy toy hates her pops but likes kissing Claire.
BA ODB's fate is in the hands of the writers and you better bet my ass is gonna straight murder some f'n Heroes writer nerds if they kill my homeboy..

Peaces Greases...

A new hope..

I have some super good news for my homas.
Todd Oldham was named the chief designer for Old Navy and started the job October 1.
I love the Oldham and have complete faith that he can turn Old Navy from frump to pure hot piece in mere months.
Here is the whole story

In other fantabulous fashion news, Erin Fetherston will be the next GO Designer for Target.
Her collection will be in stores in November.
Here is a Preview

Me Love You Long Time...

Hi kids.
It has been so long.
The Internet in the boonies went out and then I got sick and then I saved some kids from crack.
All in a days work.
But then I missed out on gossiping with my homas and I was muy triste.
So let the gossip whore mongering begin.


Stupid butt hole Cameron Diaz is currently boring Bradley Cooper.
Do you remember the Coop?
Does Sack Lodge ring a bell?
How about this?

Jeremy Grey: Wow. Mr. Environmental is also a hunter. That's an interesting combination.
Sack Lodge: I hunt quail, Jeremy. They're overpopulated in this region and they're decimating the grubworm population. You got a fucking problem with that?
Jeremy Grey: Not as much as I do with your attire, or just your general point of view toward everybody here. But hey, lets go kill some birds. I'm psyched.

Anywho, I guess they have been on a few dates and crap.
I am not a huge fan of Bradley Cooper.
I mean he was great in Wedding Crashers.
He had a great line in the first season of Alias.
He was married to Jennifer Esposito and then divorced four months later.
And this article on MSN Gossip calls him
a B-lister.



I wonder how Bradley Cooper feels dating Pizza the Hut though.
Am I the only one who cannot stand Diaz?
She's a douche. I could go into to detail but that could get messy.
I also think she may be a bit retarded, not to offend the retarded folks in the audience.
Here are some photos to prove my retarded theory and then some of her and Ball Sack on their weekend of love..

Source
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J Lo and her appropriately named husband Skeletor are pregnant.
Either that or J Lo is hording food in her stretchy pants so that she won't have to hear Skeletor tell her she looks like she has front butt.
Peeps are saying that the Lopez's are expecting twins.
That's cool cause then they can name the kids He-Man and Sheera!
I HAVE THE POWER!!!!!!!





Owen Wilson showed up to the premiere of The Darjeeling Limited in Los Angeles last Thursday night.
He snuck in after the cast had walked the red carpet.
Because it's too soon, I will not say more then that.
Even thought I reeeallly, reeeallly want too.
Butterscotch Stallion


Defamer Privacywatch anyone?
Check it Out

Want some photos of people who have more money then us?
Yeah?
You got it!



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Alright hot pieces of ass.
I will talk to you all soon.



Peaces Greases..

Monitor Lizardaire- Heroes 2.2

Recap, Recap, Recap...

We open this episode with Hott Pants Hoola Petrelli tied to a chair at Wandering Rocks Pub in Cork, Ireland.
Did I mention how hott Peter is looking tonight. Hott.
Anywho, the Irish dudes are beating the crap outta Hoola Petrelli asking where the iPods are.
The thugs threaten Peter as he cries out that he doesn't know what they are talking about.
He doesn't even know who he is.
Hott, that's who you are.

Cut to Claire Bear's house.
Mom Who Talks Out Of The Side of Her Mouth is cooking breakfast.
Claire Bear is whining about pretending to be a normie and how that will draw more attention.
She bitches to BA ODB about hiding her true self.
BA ODB smiles politely and nods as he thinks about that one time that he saved her life and had to put the whole family in jeopardy because CB is a freak of nature but and all she does is cry about wanting to be a normie and then ODB thinks about maybe straight up murdering her ass but the thought passes.

CB hugs BA ODB and Mom of the Side Talk and exists stage left.
Mom of the Side Talk shows BA ODB the paper.
Mr. Sulu is front and center and splattered on the NYC streets.
BA ODB explains that he knew this would happen.
He gives a plug to Mr. Isaac and shows Mom of the Side Talk a painting of Mr. Sulu splattered.
He says that this painting is one of eight.
Mom of the Side Talk asks what could be on the other seven.
She really does not sell that line.
I don't mind calling her out cause I can't keep from looking at that side lip.
Dude I know I am going to burn in hell for mentioning it but someone has too.


Cut to Detective Parkman atop the building of Mr. Sulu's demise.
Parkman gets the rundown of what happened.
A fingerprint was found on the photo of Mr. Sulu with that F on it.
The print belonged to the mother of the Petrelli brothers, Bitchy Petrelli. Dun, dun, dun.
The Chief explains that Hott Ando witnessed the whole event.
Parkman calls Ando over and they pretend like they don't know each other but I thought they did?
Am I wrong?
Could I be?
Anywho, Parkman asks Ando what the symbol means.
Hott Ando answers that it is a Kanji.
The Kanji in this case means great ability, godsend.
It is the crest of that dude that Hiro is back in the past with.
The hott dude from Alias, Hott Kensei.
Well this is interesting isn't it?
The symbol that alerted Mr. Sulu that he was going to bite it is the crest of the famous Japanese hero Takezo Kensei.
Mr. Sulu used to read the heroic stories of Kensei to Hiro, who is in the past with Kensei now, f'ing up Kensei's chi.
Complicated.
I can dig it.


Cut to Hiro and his lame plot line that better go somewhere fast.
Kensei of the Hott is drunk and needs to go save the Princess.
Seeing that dunking Hott Kensei in a trough isn't making him sober, Hiro puts on Hott Kensei's costume and rides off to save the princess.

Commercial.
Bionic Woman.
She irritates me.
Why do they always play Evanescence when promoting tough lady shows?
Cause I don't equate Evanescence and tough.
I equate Evanescence and lame.

Back to the show.

Claire Bear and West are in biology.
Teacher Snooty Pants explains how lizards can regenerate.
Claire Bear really keeps it on the DL by asking if people can regenerate like lizards.
Kids in class, including new hero West, stare at the freak asking about people regenerating.
The kids, the teacher, me, Olive and Gary all laugh at Claire.
If you expose BA ODB and get him killed I will hunt you down Claire and out cheer your ass.


Cut to Ned Ryerson and Mohindog chit chatting.
Mohindog, thanks to my homa Q, will be known as Raj.
Raj wants all of the access to records and labs of The Company.
Ned says yeyeah and directs Raj to Port-au-Prince.
A man who is there showing signs of the "virus", loss of abilities, weakness and tremors.
Raj has to check it out and see if the virus is now considered an epidemic.
Ned reminds Raj that his blood is the cure to the virus and to try not to die.
Geez Ned, pressure.


Movin on to Junk in the Trunk Jesus and Alejandro.
The kids show up at the door of Nidia who will help them across the border.
Junk in the Trunk Jesus is afraid of jeopardizing lives.
Alejandro says he won't let that happen.
Her ass says it won't let anything happen to her either.


Next up Hott Pants Hoola Petrelli and Caitlin sister of one of the brother beaters.
She cleans up Hott Pants and explains that the Irish dudes need to find those iPods or they are in deep doo doo.
Hott Pants explains that he does not remember anything a la Jason Bourne.
Caitlin tells Hott Pants that she just squeezed out a lot of his blood but he doesn't have a scratch on him. Dun, dun, dun..
By the by, I see a love affair brewing.


Raj is now in Haiti in search of the virus dude.
Guess who the virus dude is?
The Haitian from season numero uno.
Did you guess that?
Are you trying to one up me?
Haitian lays it on the line explaining that he doesn't want the cure to the virus.
He has done wrong by God.
Raj waxes poetic, flips him off and administers the cure.



Back to the twins, Alejandro and Junk in the Trunk.
Yep they're twins.
A healer is in the house where the twins are.
She grabs the hand of Junk in the Trunk.
The healer says that Junk has a new illness that she fears will spread.
Maybe to her ass, I don't know.
Healer goes on to say that Junk also fears herself and that she has black inside her that can kill the devil.
Healer freaks and says Junk cannot be cured and that she is cursed.
Dude, I could have told her that.


Moving on to Hiro as fakey Kensei fights off some Japanese dudes with his powers.
The Princess is stoked.
She would be more stoked if it were Hott Kensei but whateves.


Speaking of hott pants, Peter is trying to get out of his ropes.
Did I mention that the dude is all ripped?
And hot with two tt's?
Hott Pants does a neat trick and the music that sounds like whales singing in harmony plays to signify a use of hero powers.
Meanwhile some dudes that happen into the pub attack Caitlin.
Instead of rolling out, Hott Pants fights the dudes with his hott strength.
Caitlin is impressed.
However Caitlin does not impress me.
She looks like a woodland creature up close and I am not down with the animal people.


Back from commercial West is stalking Claire Bear.
West explains that he is totally into genetics and lizard regeneration and Claire shuns him.
West offers to come over to her house and read a book by some Indian dude that discusses genetics and people evolving.
Claire figuratively gives him the finger and tries to make a getaway in her car which is not in the parking space.
The Heroes music peeps decide to use an old eighties teen movie music bit to signify the gravity of the missing car and have made me very sad.
Very sad indeed.

Hiro and the Princess are chilling out in a field of Cherry Blossoms.
The Princess praises Hiro as fakey Takei.
The Princess is falling in love with Hiro as fakey Takei and vice versa.
Boring.


Raj and the Haitian are hanging with Mr. Cooper.
The Haitian is recovering.
Raj is worried that the virus is running rampant.
He then makes the mistake of telling the Haitian that he should be studied and that Raj works for The Company.
Good one Raj.
The Haitian does his mind eraser trick and Raj finds himself in some hut hanging with Ned.
Ned surmises that the Haitian was cured due to Raj being outta contact for days and chalks up the mind erase to a rookie mistake.
Ned basically told Raj that he fucked up. But in a nice way.


Junk in the Trunk Jesus and Alejandro are being led through the forest for freedom.
I got a bad feeling about this.
Junk in the Trunk Jesus always looks like she smells poo.
Nidia and Junk in the Trunk Jesus run to a gigantor pipe but Alejandro is stuck as the po-po look for illegals.
Junk in the Trunk starts to freak out.
Dude.
Bitch has got black shit coming out of her eyes.
That is her power.
Black, tarry poop comes out of her eyes and she makes people choke.
Nidia is said choker.
I wonder if she is choking on black, tarry poo.
Oh yeah, I went there.
Alejandro gets to Junk in the Trunk.
He sings her a song and then sucks the crap outta her by holding her hands.
Awesome.
Nidia freaks out and leaves them yelling out that Junk in the Trunk is the Devil.
I would too if I just ate poo.

BA ODB and Claire Bear meet at Bizarro Kinko's.
CB tells BA ODB that she forgot to lock her car doors and her car was stolen.
This turns into Claire asking BA ODB if she can use her power to heal people.
CB explains that if she can regenerate maybe her blood can help others regenerate too.
I actually thought that was pretty cool of the CB.
Thinking of others.
BA ODB tells her that he is afraid that if she uses said powers she could get in the wrong hands and will be tested and tortured.
CB pouts as her pops goes back to the Bizarro.


Bitchy Petrelli, the Chief and Parkman are in a room.
Sounds like a joke but I have no punch line.
I'm a joke maker.
Bitchy is being interrogated.
She reveals that she had an argument with Mr. Sulu and that she at one time slept with him.
Geeross.
Parkman asks about the F symbol on Mr. Sulu's face and if Bitchy has seen it.
She answers that this is the logo of her husband's law firm.
Interesting.
So the logo of her husband's law firm is also the crest of Kensei.
Keep up with me folks I am putting the pieces together.
Bitchy answers that she does not know why that is on Mr. Sulu's face.
Parkman is listening to Bitchy's thoughts as she reveals the symbol was really put there because they had done something terrible and now someone wants revenge.
Parkman then asks if perhaps revenge could be the reason?
Smooth Parkman.
Bitchy yells in her head for Parkman to get out of her head.
The Heroes people again use some shitastical music to emphasize Hero usage.
Grizzly Man Nathan Petrelli comes to pick up his Mom.
Parkman and Grizzly banter.
Suddenly the lights flicker on and off and Bitchy starts to scream.
Some invisable persona non grata is attacking her, slicing at her face.
Parkman and Grizzly Man run in to find Bitchy on the floor, crying and cut up like a Mexican whore.


Caitlin and Hott Pants and Mickey brother of Caitlin.
Mickey tells Peter that he f'd things up royally by beating up on those dudes.
Mickey then bribes Peter into pulling off a "job" to make up for the bashing by showing him a sweet box with everything Peter.
Peter gives a steely look.
This means he is thinking.




Hiro and Hott Kensei.
Hott Kensei learns of Hiro as fakey Kensei's triumph.
The Princess enters and gives Hott Kensei his sword.
Hott Kensei thinks to himself,
"When I’m alone in my room sometimes I stare at the wall
And in the back of my mind I hear my conscience call
Telling me I need a girl who’s as sweet as a dove
For the first time in my life, I see I need love."
Hott Kensei is rejuvenated by the lust of the Princess.
He tells HIro that he will now try his best to live up to Hiro's expectations.
But then Hott Kensei is shot by arrows and dies....


Were you scared?
Cause guess what, two seconds later Hott Kensei's wounds heal and he wakes up.
I called that shit seven episodes ago dude.
Come on!
Hott Kensei lives!
He has heroic powers.
Heroic hott powers.


Raj comes home to his domestic partner Parkman and Poltergeist Molly.
As they sleep, Raj gets a call from BA ODB working the late shift at Bizarro Kinkos.
The two go over the day’s events, ending with Raj worrying that Ned will be keeping a closer eye on him and BA ODB telling Raj not to worry that they will find the remaining 7 paintings.
BA ODB hangs up and stares in the eyes of the Haitian. Dun, dun, dun...
That my friend is called coming full circle, the circle of life if you will.
Hakuna Matata.


Claire and Mr. Muggles are watching a dog show.
Mr. Muggles is now in my good graces by being kinda cute.
Claire is painting her toenails.
While doing this activity Claire decides to chop off her pinky toe to see if it will grow back.
Dudes I do that all the time.
With bated breath we wait and magically her pinky toe regenerates.
Great success Claire!
I was totally waiting for Mr. Muggles to eat her discarded toe.
But he didn't.
Lame.
Mr. Muggles barks at the window and reveals West.
He saw the whole thing.
He mouths to Claire, "That just happened."
No, not really.
Claire rushes outside only to find Raj's dad's book.
Mr. Muggles barks at the sky clearly giving CB a freakin clue that West is hovering above.

Fade to To Be Continued...

Thoughts?
Hit me back yo..

Hakuna Matata

What is up my ho's!

I hope you all had a fabulous weekend of love and adventure.

I know I did.

I feel a bit like poo so my Heroes update may show up tomorrow.

But sickness doesn't stop the gossip. Hell to the no.

And we're off..

I care so much about what you all think of me that I braved the premiere episode of SNL.
It was, in a word, poo.
However, outta the shit storm rises the Phoenix that is Andy Samberg and the Digital Short.
No Dick in the Box but it could be right up there.
The short is entitled Iran So Far.
Samberg serenades Iran's President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, played by Fred Armisen.
Cameos by Jake Gyllenhaal and I can't believe I am giving him props Adam Levine of Maroon 5, make this perfect.
NBC's SNL site is telling me that there are connection problems to view the video, but please keep trying.
For the love of Christ keep trying and you will not be disappointed.
Iraaan




Drew Barrymore has moved it along people.
She is dating the cutey patootie that is Justin Long.
I heart him cause he is funny and he looks good in tight pants.
On Their Way to Scamelot



Ben Affleck blames J Lo for everything that has gone wrong in his life.
I think I'm going to start to do that too.
J Lo I blame you for not fitting into my pants right now.
J Lo I blame you for me not liking Knocked Up even though I really, really wanted to.
J Lo I blame you for my extremely dry hair when all I do is condition and condition.
Now you try it!
Blame Game


Pictures of Jennifer Aniston in Mexico have surfaced.
The Aniston is looking pretty, pretty good.
According to this, The Aniston is hanging with Legoland aka Legolas aka Bloom.
Not bad Aniston, not bad at all.


Dudes. Shiloh Jolie Pitt.
I mean, sweet Jesus.
This kid is so beautiful it sucks.
I hope she doesn't mutate and start looking like a mere normie.
Check out Solid Gold



On that note, I am going to watch some Heroes and break that shit down.
I like you.

Peaces Greases..