Good Times..

Dudes.
I started this entry in April and now it's May and whateves, I'm back.



So Jay-Z is married, Robin Wright Penn is an idiot and not to be a total Debbie Downer but freakin' Project Runway is moving to Lifetime.
Yes Lifetime.
The place where woman go to lose their ovaries.
I lost mine when I heard I would have to go to the channel of womanly doom.
I guess the producers will be abandoning ship after season 5, which thankfully will still be on the Bravo.
Read about their departure and share in the sadness


ScarJo is getting married to Beefcake Reynolds.
I dunno know about this one
I mean first off, have you seen the video of ScarHo's cover of Falling Down by Tom Waits?
No?
FYI, watch it during the day, eat some Mexican food then some ice cream cause this one hurts
Reynolds is hot and all but no mi gusta as una persona.
Mi gusta como una gorgeouso bodyo.
Whateves.
The marriage/divorce will play out in due time.


Did you kids see photos of the Costume Institute Gala last night?
No?
Okay.


I told you all how much I hate, hate, hate Eva Longwhoretown, right?
But, damn gina, her dress was just too freakin' radical.
Hate her. Not the dress.
Check it..

Gown by Marchesa - Fabulous
Douche who is wearing it - Craptastical

Gisele -

Dude. I ate like a million Whoppers and then saw this and felt like a heifer.
Well, I would look at her any day and feel like a heifer.

Julia -

I don't like the Julia Roberts.
Barfaroo can’t even describe it.
But the girl cleans up and with Armani by her side she is golden.
One thing, the dress is a bit matronly. Needs more tatta formation.

Diana Kruger -

She looks lovely and to top it off, in the background is my main man Pacey.
Dude. I love me some Pacey.
These two are pretty cute together.
I cannot say a bad word when Pacey is around.


Katie "I Lost My Shit" Holmes -

Dude.
WTF.
What is this?
Why is she wearing blue shoes?
Why is she channeling Pat in Love is a Battlefield and totally ruining it for me?
What the heck is she wearing?
WTF Dawson!
I mean this is some bullshit.


Jennifer C. -

Dude.
Why does she look like a man?
I love her most of the time but she just looks like she could take out Beefcake Reynolds.
And where is that husband of hers?
He might have made this ensemble somewhat decent.
Actually, no. No he would not have.


Hayden and Beard -

Dude.
She looks like she called up my mom to cut her hair the way she did when I was 10.
Those bangs are hideous.
And her gay is awful.

Liv -

Did I already scare you with the stalking of the Liv?
I want her to be my BFF pronto pants.
She is so back, it's insane.
For a while there she fell off the face of the earth but she is back and radical.
I heart her.

Bobblehead Ricci -

She looks good.
Fabulous.
Love it.
Well, except for her gigantic head and teeny body.
But whateves.
You win some, you lose like a thousand pounds.

Claire Danes -

You know Danes is on my list.
However, she looks very, very good here..
I recently watched Little Women and honestly, she ruled it dudes.
Ruled it in a My So Called Life Angela Chase way.
She made Winona good and that’s a task and a half.

SIDE BAR..
Speaking of Little Women, and if you haven't read it skip this, but why in the F did Jo marry the freakin' German and not Laurie?
Dudes.
It irks me every time.
Lame.
Laurie was way better then the freakin German or whatever and he loved her so much and then he like faked married Amy to be near Jo.
You know?
Bitches man, all of em'.
SIDE BAR ENDETH..

But now Danes blows.
Except in this dress with the Rodriguez.
Everyone would look good with a Rodriguez.


All right sisters and brothers.
I will take care to update this blog cause it can take my life but it will never take my freedommm.......

p.s.
My idol Amy Pohler and her fabulous super awesome husband Will Arnett are having un bambino.
Rad.
Congrats Amy and Will.
I say congrats cause I totally know she reads this blog and hope that one day she will adopt me.

Peaces Greases..


***Photos courtesy of People and In Style...