And here we go...

The nominees for The 66th Annual Golden Globe Awards will be announced Thursday, December 11 at the butt crack of dawn.


Honestly, I am not super excited for the awards season this year.
Movies were meh with only a few exceptions and television has delivered a bunch of poo poo.
Dudes, if Katherine Heigl is still on television and getting film work, you know the world is going to hell in a hand basket and there is nothing good to come from Hollywood.


Anywho, below are my picks for this season's film nominees and possible winners.


Best Actress -

Kate Winslet may be nominated for Revolutionary Road but as The Critics Choice nominations have shown, that may not be the case.

Critics Choice is a good barometer for who will be nominated for a Golden Globe and/or Academy Award.
Or so they say.
Like you didn't know that.
Sorry.

Moving on..

My hope is that Anne Hathaway does not win a damn thing.
Yes, she will be nominated for Rachel Getting Married, a pretentious film that does not need to add an S to Rachel.
But please, please, as God is my own personal warrior, do not let this bitch win.

Angelina may be nominated but won't win, due to the fact that no one saw The Changeling and the world is better for it.
Who wants to see a downer of a film with no chance for a happy ending?
Because let's face it, when Clint directs a movie the ending will be void of warm fuzzies.

Now Angelina will win the award for best looking couple at any event on planet earth as witnessed at the Benjamin Button premiere last night.




Whatever.
How is it that these two are way too good looking for my own good?
They procreate and adopt children who are way too good looking for my own good.
It's not fair and I should receive some sort of stipend from the government for this kind of abuse.



They say that Meryl Streep will be nominated for her portrayal as a nun on a mission from God in the movie Doubt.
Streep can be awesome-o but I don't go out to see her films and I don't particularly think she is all that, all the time.
What I am saying is that when I said she was awesome-o, I lied.
Have you seen the commercials for Mama Mia?
No not the film, just the commercial.
Cause if you see the film, I guarantee, you will become mentally retarded.
That's a fact.
Look it up.


I vote for Cate Blanchett for just being rad.
Oh, and she may be fabulous in the Button movie, I don’t know.
I just want her to start dressing fabulous again.


Moving on..

Best Actor -

The Rourke looks like a sure-fire nominee and cross my fingers, a winner.
Have you seen the the preview?
I mean this shit makes me cry every time I see it.
I have a cold heart people and this melts it.

Side bar:
Is it me or does Rourke remind you of Charlize Theron in Monster?


Except this is no character.
This is what Rourke really looks like.
Every day.
24/7.
No makeup, that's his real freaking face.
No, I'm not kidding.

Do you want a before picture of Rourke?
Before the drugs, steroids and boxing pulvarization?

No words for this.


Next...

The Pitt.
Should have won for 12 Monkeys.
Definitely for Fight Club.
I have not seen this Benjamin Button, but I do like the baby moustache he is rocking and think that he is lovely and endearing and funny and a non-douche.
So.
Yeah.

No on Clint.
He is old and he wins everything, so no.
The guy has like eight Academy Awards, Santa Barbara and got away with the, I'm an old man so I can stare at your boobs Angelina Jolie, so he's all good.

No on the Frank Langella.
I am not convinced of his Nixon and who really cares about Nixon anyway?
Is he even relevant anymore?
Ha!
Facial Nixon!

Michael Sheen should be nominated.

My vote...
Rourke.
Or else he will go ape shit and that may be just as good as him trying to give an acceptance speech sober style.


Supporting Actress -

Tomei will be nominated and may win for The Wrestler thereby ridding her of the stigma as the, wait. what?, winner for My Cousin Vinny.

However, Winslet needs a freaking Oscar and if she is going to get it by being a naked, jail bait screwing Nazi, as she is in The Reader, then so be it.

My vote..
Winslet.

Supporting Actor -

Ledger would be fabulous and sad at the same time.
He was radical in The Dark Night, had an amazing career ahead of him, a lovely daughter and ex-lady friend and his dumb ass should not have been into the drogas.
But whateves.
He didn't call me when the chips were down, he called an Olsen and that in and of itself equals an epic failure.

Next please..

Robert Downey Jr. could be the dark horse as he kicked some serious ass in Tropic Thunder and this is his freaking year.
Josh Brolin ruled the school as the insecure, possibly closeted, on the brink of losing his shit character, Dan White in the movie Milk.

Side bar:
Dude, remember that one time when Brolin hit his wife?
I am so sad about that.
To get over my feelings of disgust for his actions, I will only appreciate Brolin's acting skills.
Not his husband skills.

I vote for...
Ledger.

Moving on..

Best Picture and Director -

My hope?
Slumdog Millionaire.
Dudes.
Danny Boyle is one of my favorites.
His films are fabulous, Cillian Murphy is in most of them, he helps lepers and the elderly alike and it's really all about me so..
Boyle for the win.

Those are my picks.
We shall receive the nominations on Thursday and the winners on January 11.

Peaces Greases.

P.S.
Can they give the Lifetime Achievement award to Kevin Bacon?
This man has to deal with "The Closer" in every aspect of his life.
If that does not merit an award, his eight billion movie roles should.

And I raaannn, I ran so far away, and in my heart, in my heart you'll stay.

Please watch it and love it and own it and work it and cut and paste it..
I want to have 1000 Samberg babies..

Incredibad this way

wang, schlong, dong, johnson, pecker, woody, chode

Dudes.
Buenos Noches.

It looks like Kristen Stewart is back in the news.
A writer from the Chicago Sun Times felt the necessity to talk
shit.
Quickly followed up by Lainey, stirring the pot by comparing Stewart to Joaquin Phoenix.

Dude.
In response to the first article, yes, the girl is a gigantic train wreck when it comes to interviews, possibly stemming from her overuse of "big words" and her inability to enjoy life, let alone complete a sentence.
But cut her a little slack.
Imagine someone asking you for the billionth time why you chose the hott Brit to be the leading man (duh!), what it was like to play a simple girl with zero cajones and why the hott Brit felt the need to make a 180 year-old vamp sound like a guido.
Actually, I wish someone would ask that freaking question.

In response to the second quip, the girl is 18, socially retarded, thinks she has indie cred and likes to smoke weed to forget the pain that is Twilight.
Comparing her to the JP is absolutely ridiculous.
I mean this kid watched his brother die, tried to recover from the loss by changing his name from Leif to Joaquin, only to find that he couldn't recover with just a name change because he would always live in his brother's shadow, to the point that he has succumbed to the demons which have left him a shell of a man.

I lost it for the Joaquin after Walk the Line.

He was handsome, slim, dedicated and solid as a rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock.

Now he's a pudgy burn out, with a serious drug problem - which in and of itself is beyond me -, who thinks making a documentary about his ultimate downward spiral and life as a "rapper" is worth anyone's time and makes me vomit whenever I see photos of him and his attempt at spelling Good Bye.

Clever, you fuck.
The guy thinks he's a rapper.
A. Rapper.
If this kid has not gone over the deep end, then the addition of Casey Affleck as his director on this documentary of evil should help convince you.

All of this has made me so sad, so I read
this.

Skip ahead to page 4 and read Stephanie Meyer's take on the "dazzle" scene from Twilight the movie.
Man I wish this ho would shut. the. fuck. up.
Agreed, the scene should have been better, but you and your “novel” are not the fucking second coming, so be happy with what you got.
Give this biyotch fangirls and she turns into an auteur that thinks she will be relevant in 5 years time.
Ugh. Meyer, I spit in your general direction.


Most importantly, as an FYI, next time you attend the premiere of your film, phone a friend, use a lifeline, please get help from someone who will put you in front of a mirror to tell you that you look like a manatee in a shrug.


Moving on, it looks like the Pooptrow and hubby may be on the outs.
According to this article, the Pooper is making it with tool, a power tool.

Sure she is married to a tool now, but I guess you can never get enough tool.


This dude looks like that guy in those penis enlargement commercials, Bob?


Yep, this guy..



Looks like I may have been too harsh.
Gwynnie may be leaving her tool of a husband for a dick of a trust fund baby..

One more thing, have you seen the Adidas commercial with the house party that I wish I attended, like every day, but wasn’t cool enough to get invited to?
No?
enjoy kids
FYI, the song is Beggin’ a remix done by Madcon.


I got skills, I'll be back.


Peaces Greases..

the bionic, the bomb, the puff, the blow, the herb, the cronic, the sweet Mary Jane, the shit, Ganja, split, reefa,

So, saw the gigantic piece of caca known as the Twilight movie.
I am so out like Casino.
Cash my chips in dudes; the love has left the building.

That does not mean that I don't check in on the kids from the film, whose lives are totally and completely up shit creek.

This includes the lovely and marginally talented Kristen Stewart.
Girlfriend is 18, surly and in the middle of a media shit storm that she is totally not prepared for.
Plus, the little indie movie she thought she was making, has made $70 million dollars in the opening weekend alone and that my friends equals three more craptastical films to look forward to.
So what does a girl with serious social anxiety do to take the edge off a bad career move?
She smokes weed on the front steps of her home with her oily bohunk of a boyfriend.
Front steps.
Not in the backyard.
Not in the comfort of ones own home.
Nope, right there, on the front steps.
Where the photogs are camped out to study her every move.
Her PR peeps are going to be so mad at her.
For more photos click here.

Sad.
Girlfriend needs an intervention.
I volunteer and would like to discuss the following:
1. Her relationship with Nikki Reed. A nice girl but a total succubus who cannot seem to get any other roles in films other then those directed by Catherine Hardwicke.
2. Her relationship with that oily bohunk of hers, of whom she has been with since she was 14. Why, oh why she is still with the kid from Sky High?


As a lovely friend pointed out, he always looks like he is headed to a casting of Grease.

3. Oh, and of course this bit of info of gossip from Lainey.
Dudes.
I condone this whole-heartedly.
I mean, look at the dude..

Wake up San Francisco.
In the immortal words of Vanilla Ice, drop the zero and get with the hero.





On another note, those rumors about Joseph Gordon Levitt and Evan Rachel Wood, are just that, rumors.
Yes, they both have two first names, and are actors.
But no, no dating.
Have you seen her recently?

um. yeah. at a loss for words.


All right girls and boys have yourselves a fabulous turkey day..


be back soon.

peaces greases.

Huh huh huh hu-uh huh I know this much is true ...

Ok.
So, a few weeks ago I spilled my guts and told the world (or the three people that read this blog,) that I had read and was sucked (HA!) into the world of Twilight.
Since that blog entry, I have vomited my way through the other two books in the series, New Moon and Eclipse, and can’t bring myself to read the fourth, Breaking Dawn.

Um, all I can say is wow.
Wow that Stephanie Meyer was given the green light to continue to write three more books.


Now I am not going to get on my soapbox, but for fuck’s sake!
Did anyone take the time to read the manuscripts before unleashing this crap on teenage girls?
Maybe someone could have let Meyer in on the fact that female protagonist can have identities other then being some dudes bitch, have interests and opinions outside of their stalker boyfriends, enjoy dressing in clothes other then sweats and flannel shirts and need not create drama in their lives in order to push a story along.


Could Meyer have created a duller more one-dimensional character that is Bella Swan for her legions of fans?

How about creating a hott piece of vampire ass in the first book only to turn around and make the dude into a wiener-less, shell of a man, whose retarded girlfriend straight up stomps on his heart, whines and complains about everything and makes out with his mortal enemy.
Does he lose the zero and get with the hero?
No, he forgives and stays with her cause he loooooves her and her totally boring, fashionably challenged and socially retarded
ways.

And honestly, what is up with not allowing these two to hump?
I mean, maybe if they humped, Bella wouldn't be such a tool and Edward would get his Rhett Butler on.

Uhh!
Why did I read this?
I care enough to blog about this crap and that is total sad clown face.

Really, the only reason I am hanging on is because of this guy.

Yes, this dude is hot, hot, hot.
HOT.
Damn Gina hot.
Like putting him in the Twilight movie as Edward was a bad idea because one cannot help but think that Bella and Edward would hump in the first five minutes of the film cause he is so. damn. hot.

I just don’t want him to speak.
Total nerd alert.
Shhh.
Just stand there.

I digress.
This shit is lame.
I am lame for reading it.
I won’t mention it again.


Except.
Damn.
He is hot.

VIVA Barack Obama!!!!!!!!!!!

Enough said...

I'd do it if I could, I hope you know I would...

word bitches.
um, first let us take a moment to rewind to the age of headgear, pining for an oily bohunk and the hot bitch known as Jordan Catalano.
this should bring back amazingly awesome memories.
i liked Danes at this point, wanted to bone down with Leto or, excuse me, Jordan Catalano, and totally loved the Buffalo Tom song playing in the background that I downloaded it TONIGHT!

Project Runway is ovah.
Leanne won.
Big whoop.
Like we didn't see that coming from the very beginning.
What I didn't see coming was how much I would want Leanne to wash her hair from now until, um, forever.
Geez girl, things are not that bad in hipster nation that you could not buy Prell for like $1.50 at Walgreens and go to town on that oil slick.
Shit, bitch.

Chevron's Q&A here

Oh, and, Kenley?
I loathe you more then the two people on the top of my list that I actually know, hate and hope will burn in hell for all eternity and then some.
Take care of that thing your face does and jog on.

Kenley's exit interview from EW this a way


Korto,
Mi gusta.
And girl, you looked good at Bryant Park but your clothes kinda didn't.

Korto's peace out ovah here


Honestly, what has any winner of PR, with the exception of my main man Siriano, ever done with their lives?
So be stoked that you were on the last season on Bravo before the switch happens to the ovary snatching channel and peace out.


I am chocked full of gossip for you kids and I will share.
But for now, watch My So Called Life clips and dream of Catalano for eva.


Peaces Greases..