Heroes - S3 Episode 1

The two-hour season premiere of Heroes was tonight and I must say that those two hours were better then all of Season 2 combined.
So much good poop and of course, bad diarrhea.

The Good:

Sylar coming back, looking lean and mean, cutting peeps brains open, fucking shit up.

Mohindog, taking serum to finally gain super powers and some balls, becomes a bad ass with super strength, penis and peeling power.

Elle, all combustible and shit, losing papa Ned Ryerson, getting shit on by Bitchy which insures her most definitely coming over from the dark side.

Bitchtastic Peterelli, revealing her seeing the future super power, remaining bitchy and wrinkly while doing so.

Nathan, alive, with too much plastic surgery, so much so that his teeth are uber white and protruding, loving the Lord with his imaginary friend Linderman.

ODB out of cell number 5, ready to riggidy role son!

Claire all unfeeling, with a touch of dramatic acting and a dash of poo strain face.

Hottrelli, not so hot with the scar across his face, but then is hott when he doesn't have it, totally fucking up the space/time continuum.

Not Nikki, split personality free without a memory, living in a deluxe apartment in the sky, turning people into ice without trying as witnessed by her murder of the Great American Hero!

Claire's white trash mom who ends up being a fire starter, wicked fire starter.

Plus…
The new super bad villains.
Bitchy revealing that she is Sylar's homa.
Bitchy seeing the future villains straight up murdering the Heroes asses.

All and all the season premiere was fabulous and worth the wait for me to go from nerd to nerd alert.


The Bad:
The freaking super fast blond.
Bitch, please.
Try taking an acting class or two and not from Dora the Explorer.
Her hair is terrible, her red sweat suit, awful and her stupid face with added pout looks like a talking anus.
I hope she dies.
Stat.


The Vato shell that Peter Petrelli was put into.
Um, hi.
Could the Heroes casting director maybe picked up the dude from Training Day that talks about getting his shit pushed in, instead of this dude?
I mean come on.
I would have totally bought it coming from that dude.
ORALE!



Hiro.
I dunno.
He bothers me.
He should have practiced his, eyes tightly shut to convey the stoppage of time acting skill in the mirror this summer cause I am not buying it.


Porkman.
Is there a reason he is around other then Felicity nostalgia?
Cause I aint feeling it this season and my patients better not be tried.


Maya all hotastic and tan with a heavier accent then the last time we saw her, wearing super tight white capris, yellow halfie and stripper platforms to match.
Why is she still here?
To look like she shops at the tween section at Forever 21, looking fake and bake while doing so?
Figure it out folks and quick.



Questions?

What happened to Soul Glow?
How did Not Nikki come back?
What happened to Super Cousin without plot development?
What happened to Chompers aka Molly?




Next week..
More shit happens and things go down.
So stoked.


Peaces Greases..