I Started to Vomit after Ricky Started to Cry. Again. PR #4.2

So the challenge this week was to design a two-piece outfit for a fashion
and pop culture icon that happened to be Sarah Jessica Parker.
SJP has a clothing line by the name of Bitten and I am still trying to grasp
why she named the line that and why the line is so, in a word, lame.
Anywho, the manifesto for the Bitten line is that great fashion doesn't have
to cost an arm and a leg and/or look good or fit well.
Well maybe just the first part.
Tim let's the kids know that they have to sketch something and present that
sketch to SJP.
SJP sees all the designs, gets a diss on a high five and then picks the 7
designs she likes the bestest.
The kicker?
The designers had to create a $40 outfit with a $15 budget.
The non-winners team up with the winners to be their bitches and uh, help them or whatever.

Few things:

1.
I am not a fan of the SJP.

I am a fan of this beautifully fabulous dress she wore to the Emmy's like 4 years ago.
I am a fan of some of the non-Sex in the City dresses that she has worn
around about town.
I am not a fan of her thank you speeches at awards shows where she sounds
super fakey mcfakey and feigns modesty.
I am not a fan of her husband's turn from being my blueprint for a boyfriend
as Ferris Bueller to a sissy pants that wears corduroy and large V neck
sweaters to hide his oversized man belly.
However in this episode and with the good times that were Square Pegs, SJP may be
back on the non-shit list.
She was nice and funny.
Seemed a bit nervous and humble and looked decent.
I also liked that she didn't pick the kiss asses but took a leap of faith on more non-traditional designs.



2. I swear if Ricky or anyone else cries on the show again there will be hell to
pay.
Ricky will now be known as Ricky Crytardo.
Dude. What the heck is he crying about?
I mean do the producers kick him in the balls before one on one interviews?
Does he even have balls?



3.

Marion is a complete and total douche.
First of all, I would never purchase or take fashion advice from a 40
year-old dude who straight up dresses like An American Tail's Fievel.
Second of all, dude this ain't a potato sack race mf'er.
This is Project Runway where you need to bring it and not cry about it later in your interview with Entertainment Weekly.
If you have not read that interview, please check it out
Here .

If you would rather not read the bitter ravings of a pasty man, here are some highlights:

"I design collections that are really deep and avant-garde, and there's a
lot of meaning and thought that goes into them. It's a lot different than
designing a $15 outfit."
"I think I was given my nightmare challenge, which would be designing a $15
outfit. I don't want to design a cheap, mainstream, budget-store outfit. I
wanted to go on the show to make delicate lace out of an 18-wheeler. I kind
of got screwed by the challenge."
"Christian and I come from the same thought of design. He and I are both
avant-garde designers. He might not admit to struggling with this challenge,
but I think we both struggled. It was WalMart, as in ''How many of those can
we sell?'' I don't see how my designs would fit into that kind of line."

Um, yeah.
So in order to prove how delicate, lacey and deep you are, you pick out
fabric that looks like a freakin burlap sack and cut 80's fringe on the
bottom of it?
Fievel, have you not seen Project Runway?
This is a reality television program where a designer wins some cash, gets some exposure, shells
for Saturn and then either falls off the face of the earth or designs for a
retail chain or online clothing store for a year. Nothing really deep and meaningful about that.
While in the competition, you got to work and create something awesome with what you are given.
How is it that most of the designers designed some really lovely things for $15 and
you came up with Lita Ford meets Pocahontas meets Captain Fringealot.
Don't be too disappointed for Marion though.
I hear that his sack dress interested the buyers for Chico’s.
Chico's = very avant-garde.



4.

Is anyone else reminded of 3rd Rock from the Sun’s French Stewart when looking at Steven?
I think it's the squinting.
Is anyone else worried that this dude may go ape shit and hack at people with his scissors?
Just me?




5.

Carmen like the Opera, Webber like the baller
Carmen was certainly playing up opera drama when she was asked who should go home for the hideous, totally 80's, Blade Runner meets a Beat It Video extra's jacket, created by Christian.
I mean squeeze a tear out or don't even try.
Go home and practice in the mirror or don't even bring it to the table.
Oh and FYI, Chris Webber ain't no baller sister so figure out a new catch
phrase.
On second thought, just stop talking all together.




6.


Even with all of his crying I liked Ricky fuchsia dress.
Very feminine and with the help of Jack not boring and not lingerie like and the fabric was perfect.
So eat it Marion.
I also loved, loved, loved Kit and Chris's black sweater thing with the pockets.
Very cute and I would purchase it at my local "budget store," so suck it Marion.




7.

Victorya won which made sense.
She teamed up with non-gay Kevin.
I don't know if I was a fan of the vest, though I am not a vest person so
that makes sense.
I liked the color and the dress did not look like it was made from $15 fabric.
So eat a dong Marion.
Victorya is a super robot though and non-gay Kevin likes to take credit for things he did not do.
The dude kept saying thank you after SJP praised Victorya for her design and
for presenting exactly what she, Victorya, had sketched.
Settle down shorty, it ain't your turn.



8.

I was impressed by Elisa's dress but not by her spitting on the fabric or
not knowing how to sew.
Also, the color was the same as last week.
Also, Sweet P is kinda rad.




Another episode ends and me no likey too much yet.
Oh and are capes in all of a sudden or is it me?


**SJP photo taken from Yahoo and French Stewart from www.allocine.fr.