I know all there is to know about the crying game...

Hi there homas.
It has been a long time.
I was out and about.
Making some friends.
Making some enemies.
I live a dangerous life, what of it?
I got some good, good gossip.
You ready?



So Jake G.
Mayor of Gay Town.
I know, I know, I've been saying it for years.
I just can't quit it.
Yep, I went there.
The newest piece of gossip is that Jake and his hot piece have adopted a baby and will be coming outta the closet.
Yep. Un baby.
Page Six has a blind item about it and to me, Page Six is the freakin' bible of gossip.
The gist of the story follows plus some photos of Jake and his sweet luvah..
The Source Awards




Perusing this new JJ blog, I found another gay item.
Jessica Biel.
Look, I like the girl.
JT can do no wrong by me and now that he has left one half of my League of Extraordinarily Lame Archenemies that is Diaz, he's like friggin' Midas.
This JJ is sayin that Ms. Biel is Grand Poobah of Lesbo Island.
I dunno.
I guess her homegirl grabbed her ass during a football game.
Whateves.
Here is the photo and the story.
You make the call.
Shake it
Image Source





A photo of Gwen, her super cute kid and a stuffed cat in a wagon.
I pose a question.
How in the hell does Gwen keep her frickin’ hair lookin’ that damn good?
I mean, sister soldier has been bleaching her hair since my sister has been using horsehair shampoo.
And that my friends, is a long f’ing time.
Her hair should be unlike that movie Unbreakable.
Does that make sense?
What I'm sayin’ is, Gwen's hair should have gone the way of her single shred of talent, which she lost like twenty years ago at Cal State Fullerton, when she would wear petty coats and had black roots.
Am I right?
Source




Dude.
Peter Jackson.
Remember that one time when Peter Jackson was a gigantic fat ass?
I do.
And then he lost a ton of weight and became evil like Jared S. Fogle?
You don't?
You want me to prove it?
The dude fired my hott piece Ryan Gosling.
You read right dudes.
Gosling gained weight and grew a sweet beard for his role as father in the film adaptation of The Lovely Bones.
Jackson was unhappy with the look and fired my sweet, sweet piece of man ass.
Dude, Jackson, slow your freakin' roll.
Remember when you had to have specially made pants so that your fat ass could be covered as to not gross out the hobbits?
I call shenanigans on that fucking asshole.
He couldn't handle Gosling looking super freaking awesome with a little chub and beard on him and he got all Dorian Grey on his ass.
I piss on you Jackson.
Piss on you and your weirdly sexualized hobbit love, you tub of lard.
Here is the Lord of Hottness, aka Gosling for your pleasure..


Source Awards
Fatty Source





Keep an eye out for the Tina Fey film Baby Mama.
My homegirl Amy Pohler is in it and she, like JT, can do no wrong by me.
Synopsis





Sacha Baron Cohen and Isla Fisher welcomed baby Olive, Roctober 17.
Sweet.
Ms. Fisher looked like she was about to birth Peter Jackson so I'm stoked that baby is out.
Me likey.






Angelina Jolie has stopped looking like Skeletor and now looks more like Cobra Commander.
I think she looks swell.
I guess that's what eating will do to you.
She Once Kissed Her Bro





Drew Barrymore is doing some movie where she is in a 40's style bikini and I can see cellulite.
Halle frickin’ lujah.
Thank you sweet fat that is collected in thigh area.
This is good, good times.
Now if only she would stop dating my homeboy from the MAC commercials and be exiled with Diaz to an island with cannibals, my life would be a complete success.
Cheese




Some photos courtesy of OK!







Alright ladies and gents, I am off.
I am getting around to watching Heroes and will update soon..
Peaces Greases..