Hello folks..
I spent time in super gossip land and feel as if I was given the keys to gossip heaven.
So much awesome and maybe not so awesome news..
The New York Post dishes serious dirt the day after big events.
Like for real, real, real, real, real dirt.
This dish comes from the Metropolitan Museum's Costume Institute gala from the other night.
You know the one where Eva Longwhoretown wore the dress I will covet forever?
Anywho, I guess there were some pissy pants at the ball and you can read about it here.
This is a sad story cause it's all about my Liv.
Seems things aren't going so well in hubby land.
Girlfriend didn't wear her ring to the Met Costume Ball and has been spilling the beans to her homas that the marriage may have been too fast, too furious.
The story can be read here.
Note to the writer at the New York Daily News, last time I checked Liv has one son with her soon to be ex, not two daughters.
Get it right douchey writer who does not care about my Liv and doesn't bother to fact check every little bit of her life.
I mean whatever on that douche.
This little story is about Cameron Douchiaz and her ho-town ways.
Defamer lists Cam Douches current and former conquests, including current squeeze, ginger kid and Nicky Hilton reject Kevin Connolly.
Except for Gerard Butler, I wouldn't be too proud of any of these booty calls.
We are talking bottom of the barrel here.
And I heard that Gerard was all, "No mi gusta the Cameron. Her face hurts my eyes."
Or something to that effect.
On a happier and hotter note, Common will be in the new Terminator film with another hott piece, Christian Bale.
Nice.
Whoever did the casting for this film should run for President cause I would vote their ass in..
So remember a while back when I asked why in the hell Keira "Poo Face" Knightley always looks the same in every photo?
You know like Zoolander but not cause she is so, so lame.
Well, Poo Face answered that very question and gave the most asinine reason.
I mean whatever on this chick, right?
Just say that you are bitter and give love a bad name and I will sleep better at night, Poo Face.
Time to stalk celebs via Gawker Stalker:
George Clooney
300 W 57TH ST
May 7th, 2008 @ 1pm
Just saw George Clooney at the Hearst Building - HE IS SO DREAMY! One HECK
of a GOOD LOOKING MAN. He stopped and chatted with US.... MMMMMM....
Julia Roberts
LEXINGTON AVE & 30TH ST
May 7th, 2008 @ 1pm
Spotted Julia Roberts with husband Danny along with Phinneas and Hazel
finishing up lunch at Penelope. No signs of Henry.
Blake and Penn (Gossip Girl)
119 7TH AVE
May 6th, 2008 @ 10pm
Having a candle lit dinner at cafeteria. Holding hands the whole bit. Though
he kept her waiting a good ten minutes before waltzing in to commence full
on canoodling
Joshua Jackson (Um, Pacey)!
BROOME ST & MERCER ST
May 6th, 2008 @ 9pm
Diane Kruger and Joshua Jackson shopping in Georgia Tapert Living in Soho.
Diana was perusing while Jackson stayed in the front of the store talking on
his cell. Jackson is just as good looking in person!!
Hilary Duff
9TH AVE & LITTLE WEST 12TH ST
May 6th, 2008 @ 8pm
Saw Hillary Duff having dinner at Revel. Hillary was wearing a solid pound
of eye make-up, dining with two hipsters and one plain looking girl with
braid ... Amish, perhaps? I like her more for not surrounding herself with
super hot people.
Clive Owen
5TH AVE & 40TH ST
May 6th, 2008 @ 5pm
Clive Owen on the set of a movie. Absolutely GORGEOUS in person!! Tall, tan,
with piercing blue/green eyes. He was just hanging in a director's type
chair and is just delicious. I never realized how hot this man is. He has
officially moved to the top of my list!
Julia Roberts
PARK AVE S & E 31ST ST
May 6th, 2008 @ 10am
I just saw Julia Roberts on the corner of East 31st street and Park ave
south. They are filming a movie there today. She is so pretty.
Uma Thurman
6TH AVE & VANDAM ST
May 6th, 2008 @ 10am
I just saw Uma Thurman on Vandam Street (at Sixth Avenue) filming her
upcoming movie, "Motherhood." She was filming her scenes inside a
Volvo-looking car. She had red hair and looked great! And strangely very
tall! Looked kinda uncomfortable with something in the car when I passed.
Two cops on set too, prob to ward off the stalkers, but the street and
sidewalk aren't blocked off. (Dude. Has this person ever seen Uma Thurman in
any photo or perhaps next to her creepy, dirty hipster, dumb ass of an
ex-husband? She¹s like towers over everyone. This person must be a foreigner
and have no T.V., and I don¹t trust them).
Alright peace out homies, mi gustaria mucho mas.
Wednesday, May 7, 2008
Tuesday, May 6, 2008
Good Times..
Dudes.
I started this entry in April and now it's May and whateves, I'm back.
So Jay-Z is married, Robin Wright Penn is an idiot and not to be a total Debbie Downer but freakin' Project Runway is moving to Lifetime.
Yes Lifetime.
The place where woman go to lose their ovaries.
I lost mine when I heard I would have to go to the channel of womanly doom.
I guess the producers will be abandoning ship after season 5, which thankfully will still be on the Bravo.
Read about their departure and share in the sadness
ScarJo is getting married to Beefcake Reynolds.
I dunno know about this one
I mean first off, have you seen the video of ScarHo's cover of Falling Down by Tom Waits?
No?
FYI, watch it during the day, eat some Mexican food then some ice cream cause this one hurts
Reynolds is hot and all but no mi gusta as una persona.
Mi gusta como una gorgeouso bodyo.
Whateves.
The marriage/divorce will play out in due time.
Did you kids see photos of the Costume Institute Gala last night?
No?
Okay.
I told you all how much I hate, hate, hate Eva Longwhoretown, right?
But, damn gina, her dress was just too freakin' radical.
Hate her. Not the dress.
Check it..
Gown by Marchesa - Fabulous
Douche who is wearing it - Craptastical
Gisele -
Dude. I ate like a million Whoppers and then saw this and felt like a heifer.
Well, I would look at her any day and feel like a heifer.
Julia -
I don't like the Julia Roberts.
Barfaroo can’t even describe it.
But the girl cleans up and with Armani by her side she is golden.
One thing, the dress is a bit matronly. Needs more tatta formation.
Diana Kruger -
She looks lovely and to top it off, in the background is my main man Pacey.
Dude. I love me some Pacey.
These two are pretty cute together.
I cannot say a bad word when Pacey is around.
Katie "I Lost My Shit" Holmes -
Dude.
WTF.
What is this?
Why is she wearing blue shoes?
Why is she channeling Pat in Love is a Battlefield and totally ruining it for me?
What the heck is she wearing?
WTF Dawson!
I mean this is some bullshit.
Jennifer C. -
Dude.
Why does she look like a man?
I love her most of the time but she just looks like she could take out Beefcake Reynolds.
And where is that husband of hers?
He might have made this ensemble somewhat decent.
Actually, no. No he would not have.
Hayden and Beard -
Dude.
She looks like she called up my mom to cut her hair the way she did when I was 10.
Those bangs are hideous.
And her gay is awful.
Liv -
Did I already scare you with the stalking of the Liv?
I want her to be my BFF pronto pants.
She is so back, it's insane.
For a while there she fell off the face of the earth but she is back and radical.
I heart her.
Bobblehead Ricci -
She looks good.
Fabulous.
Love it.
Well, except for her gigantic head and teeny body.
But whateves.
You win some, you lose like a thousand pounds.
Claire Danes -
You know Danes is on my list.
However, she looks very, very good here..
I recently watched Little Women and honestly, she ruled it dudes.
Ruled it in a My So Called Life Angela Chase way.
She made Winona good and that’s a task and a half.
SIDE BAR..
Speaking of Little Women, and if you haven't read it skip this, but why in the F did Jo marry the freakin' German and not Laurie?
Dudes.
It irks me every time.
Lame.
Laurie was way better then the freakin German or whatever and he loved her so much and then he like faked married Amy to be near Jo.
You know?
Bitches man, all of em'.
SIDE BAR ENDETH..
But now Danes blows.
Except in this dress with the Rodriguez.
Everyone would look good with a Rodriguez.
All right sisters and brothers.
I will take care to update this blog cause it can take my life but it will never take my freedommm.......
p.s.
My idol Amy Pohler and her fabulous super awesome husband Will Arnett are having un bambino.
Rad.
Congrats Amy and Will.
I say congrats cause I totally know she reads this blog and hope that one day she will adopt me.
Peaces Greases..
***Photos courtesy of People and In Style...
I started this entry in April and now it's May and whateves, I'm back.
So Jay-Z is married, Robin Wright Penn is an idiot and not to be a total Debbie Downer but freakin' Project Runway is moving to Lifetime.
Yes Lifetime.
The place where woman go to lose their ovaries.
I lost mine when I heard I would have to go to the channel of womanly doom.
I guess the producers will be abandoning ship after season 5, which thankfully will still be on the Bravo.
Read about their departure and share in the sadness
ScarJo is getting married to Beefcake Reynolds.
I dunno know about this one
I mean first off, have you seen the video of ScarHo's cover of Falling Down by Tom Waits?
No?
FYI, watch it during the day, eat some Mexican food then some ice cream cause this one hurts
Reynolds is hot and all but no mi gusta as una persona.
Mi gusta como una gorgeouso bodyo.
Whateves.
The marriage/divorce will play out in due time.
Did you kids see photos of the Costume Institute Gala last night?
No?
Okay.
I told you all how much I hate, hate, hate Eva Longwhoretown, right?
But, damn gina, her dress was just too freakin' radical.
Hate her. Not the dress.
Check it..
Gown by Marchesa - Fabulous
Douche who is wearing it - Craptastical
Gisele -
Dude. I ate like a million Whoppers and then saw this and felt like a heifer.
Well, I would look at her any day and feel like a heifer.
Julia -
I don't like the Julia Roberts.
Barfaroo can’t even describe it.
But the girl cleans up and with Armani by her side she is golden.
One thing, the dress is a bit matronly. Needs more tatta formation.
Diana Kruger -
She looks lovely and to top it off, in the background is my main man Pacey.
Dude. I love me some Pacey.
These two are pretty cute together.
I cannot say a bad word when Pacey is around.
Katie "I Lost My Shit" Holmes -
Dude.
WTF.
What is this?
Why is she wearing blue shoes?
Why is she channeling Pat in Love is a Battlefield and totally ruining it for me?
What the heck is she wearing?
WTF Dawson!
I mean this is some bullshit.
Jennifer C. -
Dude.
Why does she look like a man?
I love her most of the time but she just looks like she could take out Beefcake Reynolds.
And where is that husband of hers?
He might have made this ensemble somewhat decent.
Actually, no. No he would not have.
Hayden and Beard -
Dude.
She looks like she called up my mom to cut her hair the way she did when I was 10.
Those bangs are hideous.
And her gay is awful.
Liv -
Did I already scare you with the stalking of the Liv?
I want her to be my BFF pronto pants.
She is so back, it's insane.
For a while there she fell off the face of the earth but she is back and radical.
I heart her.
Bobblehead Ricci -
She looks good.
Fabulous.
Love it.
Well, except for her gigantic head and teeny body.
But whateves.
You win some, you lose like a thousand pounds.
Claire Danes -
You know Danes is on my list.
However, she looks very, very good here..
I recently watched Little Women and honestly, she ruled it dudes.
Ruled it in a My So Called Life Angela Chase way.
She made Winona good and that’s a task and a half.
SIDE BAR..
Speaking of Little Women, and if you haven't read it skip this, but why in the F did Jo marry the freakin' German and not Laurie?
Dudes.
It irks me every time.
Lame.
Laurie was way better then the freakin German or whatever and he loved her so much and then he like faked married Amy to be near Jo.
You know?
Bitches man, all of em'.
SIDE BAR ENDETH..
But now Danes blows.
Except in this dress with the Rodriguez.
Everyone would look good with a Rodriguez.
All right sisters and brothers.
I will take care to update this blog cause it can take my life but it will never take my freedommm.......
p.s.
My idol Amy Pohler and her fabulous super awesome husband Will Arnett are having un bambino.
Rad.
Congrats Amy and Will.
I say congrats cause I totally know she reads this blog and hope that one day she will adopt me.
Peaces Greases..
***Photos courtesy of People and In Style...
Saturday, March 29, 2008
Tracy Jordan: I'm gonna make you a mix tape. You like Phil Collins?
Dudes.
I've missed you all so much.
So, so, so much.
And since our last meeting, so, so, so much has happened.
Christian won Project Runway and is a huge success and everyone wants to be his BFF por vida.
The win was well deserved cause the dude brought it like the Rancho Carne Toro's.
I mean, the mini man made Victoria Poo Face Beckham smile.
One should win the Purple Heart for that shit.
I like this PR win and am very happy about it..
If you are feaning for some more of the feirce, check out his website
Rumors are swirling that Bradical and Angelinical were married in New Orleans.
But they didn't.
So, no story there my friends.
If you would like to read about the non-marriage, check it here
Have we talked about George Clooney's gf?
I'm sure we have.
Have we talked about how she's kinda, how do I put this nicely, Pretty Woman without the snappy comebacks cause she has the personality of paper?
Well, gather around children and talk of the Sarah shall we?
Girlfriend used to live it up in Vegas until my main man Cloonester took her out, dressed her up, got her a passport stamped with countries other then whoresville and made her somewhat respectable.
Now we all know that it would only be a matter of time until someone would release photos of Sarah in black, thigh high boots, a pink shrinky shirt that looped into a short black skirt that put the ho in whore.
Okay, so not really, but close enough.
To see Sarah prior to her refwhoremation, check this out
Orlando Bloom is dating a pretty lady.
The 411 is this way
I got some sweet Privacy Watch for you right here my friends
Dudes.
A little blurb went out a couple of days ago that the Ryan Phillippe and Abbie Cornish are with child.
Who is Abbie Cornish?
Oh just the girl that broke Reece Witherspoon's back.
The dirty bird that is Phillippe has been with a lot of the ladies during his marriage to the Witherspoon, but this one drove Reece to divorce court.
Anywho, the Cornish is laying low and the original blurb was taken down.
But leave it to Defamer to keep the gossip flames burning and post this
Me gusta la Defamer muchismo mas.
How bout a photo sidebar..
Jessica Alba is ready to pop.
I about lost my shit when I saw this dress.
Terrible.
What the hell is this she is wearing?
**Photo provided by Celebutopia
Fergie turned 33 this last week.
Um, girl has got to be 50 something.
I mean, she peed onstage people.
Peed onstage = Depends = Fergie 50 not 33.
**Photo provided by Celebutopia
The Stefani's out and about.
Cammie D has gotten fuglier.
I mean, girl is not aging well at all.
Am I right or just mean?
**Photo provided by Celebutopia
Finally, Suri and Shiloh.
I see cutting and teen pregnancy in their futures.
That is all for now my homies..
Later skaters..
I've missed you all so much.
So, so, so much.
And since our last meeting, so, so, so much has happened.
Christian won Project Runway and is a huge success and everyone wants to be his BFF por vida.
The win was well deserved cause the dude brought it like the Rancho Carne Toro's.
I mean, the mini man made Victoria Poo Face Beckham smile.
One should win the Purple Heart for that shit.
I like this PR win and am very happy about it..
If you are feaning for some more of the feirce, check out his website
Rumors are swirling that Bradical and Angelinical were married in New Orleans.
But they didn't.
So, no story there my friends.
If you would like to read about the non-marriage, check it here
Have we talked about George Clooney's gf?
I'm sure we have.
Have we talked about how she's kinda, how do I put this nicely, Pretty Woman without the snappy comebacks cause she has the personality of paper?
Well, gather around children and talk of the Sarah shall we?
Girlfriend used to live it up in Vegas until my main man Cloonester took her out, dressed her up, got her a passport stamped with countries other then whoresville and made her somewhat respectable.
Now we all know that it would only be a matter of time until someone would release photos of Sarah in black, thigh high boots, a pink shrinky shirt that looped into a short black skirt that put the ho in whore.
Okay, so not really, but close enough.
To see Sarah prior to her refwhoremation, check this out
Orlando Bloom is dating a pretty lady.
The 411 is this way
I got some sweet Privacy Watch for you right here my friends
Dudes.
A little blurb went out a couple of days ago that the Ryan Phillippe and Abbie Cornish are with child.
Who is Abbie Cornish?
Oh just the girl that broke Reece Witherspoon's back.
The dirty bird that is Phillippe has been with a lot of the ladies during his marriage to the Witherspoon, but this one drove Reece to divorce court.
Anywho, the Cornish is laying low and the original blurb was taken down.
But leave it to Defamer to keep the gossip flames burning and post this
Me gusta la Defamer muchismo mas.
How bout a photo sidebar..
Jessica Alba is ready to pop.
I about lost my shit when I saw this dress.
Terrible.
What the hell is this she is wearing?
**Photo provided by Celebutopia
Fergie turned 33 this last week.
Um, girl has got to be 50 something.
I mean, she peed onstage people.
Peed onstage = Depends = Fergie 50 not 33.
**Photo provided by Celebutopia
The Stefani's out and about.
Cammie D has gotten fuglier.
I mean, girl is not aging well at all.
Am I right or just mean?
**Photo provided by Celebutopia
Finally, Suri and Shiloh.
I see cutting and teen pregnancy in their futures.
That is all for now my homies..
Later skaters..
Sunday, March 2, 2008
You know, GOB, you might want to start acting like the President. You're beginning to alienate some of the employees.
Hi folks.
Let's catch up shall we..
Academy Awards were last weekend.
Marion Cotillard.
I love, love, love, amour d'amour, amour d'amour her.
Her dress was utter perfection and to be honest only she could have pulled it off..
Her speech for winning Best Actress was honest and lovely and I think she is the shit.
Stare at her..
Um, also, not only is this lady a babe but her boyfriend is a stone cold fox.
His name is Guillaume Canet and he is a frenchy, an actor and he's hot.
I have placed some photos of them for your perusal..
Yep, they are totally making out in the second one..
**Photos provided by IMDB and the fashion spot..
Daniel Day won for best actor and I was happy.
His shoes stick out like a sore thumb but whateves.
His wife looked like she purchased her dress at Craptastical Patchwork of Poo R Us, but I still love the bitch.
**Photos provided by IMDB
Tilda Swinton was the surprise win.
What did not surprise me was the terrible, terrible potato sack of goth she wore.
This made up for it..
**Photo provided by EW and Jezebel
My Javier won for Supporting Actor and he = rad.
He looked good, said some truly beautiful shit in Spanish during his acceptance speech and drank Pacifico's with his Penelope at the after party.
Good form Javier..
**Photo provided by People
Who looked good you asked?
I must say there were only a few.
Garner cleaned up nicely.
I don't like the bottom of the dress too much.
But from the waist up, she looks decent.
Don't get all crazy.
I still don't like her.
I am sad to say that Ben not being there has not put any more of my faith in their marriage.
But whateves let her have a life.
And if things don't work out with Ben, there is always Gary Busey.
I liked the Swank dress too.
You know, I have never found her to be funny or thought her personality was all that fabulous.
However, her banter with Seacrest Out was pretty good and she did not seem all fake and bake.
So I'll give her a high five and walk away in hopes she doesn't ruin it by not thanking me in a Oscar winning speech.
My BFF Keri Russell looked pretty faboo.
Her man love was with her and that always makes me happy.
She was very witty and funny during the Seacrest Out chitchat.
But she always is.
As usual Keri = awesome.
**photos provided by People
The bad were bad.
Cami D looked like poo.
Girl, brush your hair and take an f'ing shower.
It is not difficult.
You turn the water on, pour some shampoo on your hand; rub your hands together and then put that on your hair.
Rinse.
Then you use this thing called soap to clean off the stink.
Rinse.
If you cannot do that, you cannot function in life and I bid you good day.
Ellen. Page.
No me gusta.
She looked old, uncomfortable, unhappy and outside the cool boundary.
She is too young to look fug.
Speaking of outside the cool boundary, Diablo Cody.
Look, I've decided that I just don't like the girl.
From her suffocating girl love for Page, to the constant reminders that she was a stripper, to the vagina high leopard dress, to the awkward, "I just won the science fair prize," speed walk off the stage after winning the Oscar, which, by the way, will lead to her sure fire demise.
You see she didn’t have to be a stripper to pay the bills.
She did it cause she wanted to be clever.
She didn't have to wear the vagina high leopard dress.
She wore it to fill the "cool" indie writer against conformity role.
She didn't have to release her nudie pics online.
She did it cause she's a douche and realized that her reputation was getting a bad rap cause she dissed Stuart Wiseman and won an Oscar which in turn labeled her a sell out.
Maybe I shouldn't be so hard on the chick.
So I will let Andy Samberg do it for me.
I love me some Andy.
I don't love me some Cody.
P.S. My post on Diablo Cody = meow.
**Photos provided by People and Just Jared
Moving on...
The season finale of Project Runway is this Wednesday.
What has been missed?
Crytardo got the boot.
Then he came back on the reunion show and looked like a complete and total asshole.
A PR viewer wrote in and asked why in the hell Crytardo cried like a freakin river.
Crytardo made some call about women crying all the time or whateves and I hoped that somehow, someway, Crytardo would implode.
Sweet Pea got the boot as well and I was happy.
She really needed to get the fuck out.
She whined and babied her way through every challenge and stressed me out during the process.
The woman has no backbone.
Until the reunion show where she basically told everyone how rad she was and how celebrities think she is the shit and I wished somehow, someway, Tim would cut the bitch.
And then there was Carmen.
Um.
Girlfriend was bummed cause no one missed her and everyone and their mom dissed her talent.
She cried a lot, made weird painful faces and gave Heidi lip.
I was hoping that somehow, someway Santiago would come out on the runway, throw some water on Carmen and watch as she cried that she was melting, melting..
Finally Victoroboticon.
Wow.
This one is a piece of work.
All I have to say is what Heidi had to say, "Victorya is a little uptight, no?"
Totally.
Lame.
Robot.
Christian won the fan favorite and $10,000.
Michael Knight brought the check out along with the 25 pounds he has gained since last season.
This week’s show was Part 1 of the finale.
Rami, Christian, Chris and Jillian were the finalist.
Until Chris showed Heidi, Michael Kors and Nina his collection of, "I make dresses for old ladies using velvet and human hair."
Really?
Come on Chris.
You needed to bring it and you brought Chico's.
So Rami, Jillian and Christian are headed to Bryant Park and the winner will be revealed next week...
That is all I have and I don't have anymore.
Until next time, peaces greases..
Let's catch up shall we..
Academy Awards were last weekend.
Marion Cotillard.
I love, love, love, amour d'amour, amour d'amour her.
Her dress was utter perfection and to be honest only she could have pulled it off..
Her speech for winning Best Actress was honest and lovely and I think she is the shit.
Stare at her..
Um, also, not only is this lady a babe but her boyfriend is a stone cold fox.
His name is Guillaume Canet and he is a frenchy, an actor and he's hot.
I have placed some photos of them for your perusal..
Yep, they are totally making out in the second one..
**Photos provided by IMDB and the fashion spot..
Daniel Day won for best actor and I was happy.
His shoes stick out like a sore thumb but whateves.
His wife looked like she purchased her dress at Craptastical Patchwork of Poo R Us, but I still love the bitch.
**Photos provided by IMDB
Tilda Swinton was the surprise win.
What did not surprise me was the terrible, terrible potato sack of goth she wore.
This made up for it..
**Photo provided by EW and Jezebel
My Javier won for Supporting Actor and he = rad.
He looked good, said some truly beautiful shit in Spanish during his acceptance speech and drank Pacifico's with his Penelope at the after party.
Good form Javier..
**Photo provided by People
Who looked good you asked?
I must say there were only a few.
Garner cleaned up nicely.
I don't like the bottom of the dress too much.
But from the waist up, she looks decent.
Don't get all crazy.
I still don't like her.
I am sad to say that Ben not being there has not put any more of my faith in their marriage.
But whateves let her have a life.
And if things don't work out with Ben, there is always Gary Busey.
I liked the Swank dress too.
You know, I have never found her to be funny or thought her personality was all that fabulous.
However, her banter with Seacrest Out was pretty good and she did not seem all fake and bake.
So I'll give her a high five and walk away in hopes she doesn't ruin it by not thanking me in a Oscar winning speech.
My BFF Keri Russell looked pretty faboo.
Her man love was with her and that always makes me happy.
She was very witty and funny during the Seacrest Out chitchat.
But she always is.
As usual Keri = awesome.
**photos provided by People
The bad were bad.
Cami D looked like poo.
Girl, brush your hair and take an f'ing shower.
It is not difficult.
You turn the water on, pour some shampoo on your hand; rub your hands together and then put that on your hair.
Rinse.
Then you use this thing called soap to clean off the stink.
Rinse.
If you cannot do that, you cannot function in life and I bid you good day.
Ellen. Page.
No me gusta.
She looked old, uncomfortable, unhappy and outside the cool boundary.
She is too young to look fug.
Speaking of outside the cool boundary, Diablo Cody.
Look, I've decided that I just don't like the girl.
From her suffocating girl love for Page, to the constant reminders that she was a stripper, to the vagina high leopard dress, to the awkward, "I just won the science fair prize," speed walk off the stage after winning the Oscar, which, by the way, will lead to her sure fire demise.
You see she didn’t have to be a stripper to pay the bills.
She did it cause she wanted to be clever.
She didn't have to wear the vagina high leopard dress.
She wore it to fill the "cool" indie writer against conformity role.
She didn't have to release her nudie pics online.
She did it cause she's a douche and realized that her reputation was getting a bad rap cause she dissed Stuart Wiseman and won an Oscar which in turn labeled her a sell out.
Maybe I shouldn't be so hard on the chick.
So I will let Andy Samberg do it for me.
I love me some Andy.
I don't love me some Cody.
P.S. My post on Diablo Cody = meow.
**Photos provided by People and Just Jared
Moving on...
The season finale of Project Runway is this Wednesday.
What has been missed?
Crytardo got the boot.
Then he came back on the reunion show and looked like a complete and total asshole.
A PR viewer wrote in and asked why in the hell Crytardo cried like a freakin river.
Crytardo made some call about women crying all the time or whateves and I hoped that somehow, someway, Crytardo would implode.
Sweet Pea got the boot as well and I was happy.
She really needed to get the fuck out.
She whined and babied her way through every challenge and stressed me out during the process.
The woman has no backbone.
Until the reunion show where she basically told everyone how rad she was and how celebrities think she is the shit and I wished somehow, someway, Tim would cut the bitch.
And then there was Carmen.
Um.
Girlfriend was bummed cause no one missed her and everyone and their mom dissed her talent.
She cried a lot, made weird painful faces and gave Heidi lip.
I was hoping that somehow, someway Santiago would come out on the runway, throw some water on Carmen and watch as she cried that she was melting, melting..
Finally Victoroboticon.
Wow.
This one is a piece of work.
All I have to say is what Heidi had to say, "Victorya is a little uptight, no?"
Totally.
Lame.
Robot.
Christian won the fan favorite and $10,000.
Michael Knight brought the check out along with the 25 pounds he has gained since last season.
This week’s show was Part 1 of the finale.
Rami, Christian, Chris and Jillian were the finalist.
Until Chris showed Heidi, Michael Kors and Nina his collection of, "I make dresses for old ladies using velvet and human hair."
Really?
Come on Chris.
You needed to bring it and you brought Chico's.
So Rami, Jillian and Christian are headed to Bryant Park and the winner will be revealed next week...
That is all I have and I don't have anymore.
Until next time, peaces greases..
Friday, February 15, 2008
Another day, another Dakota Fanning Bitchtastic Story..
Hi folks..
On to the gossip.
So Dakota Fanning.
She freaks the shit outta me and I assume you..
I don't like her.
I don't like her face or her teeth.
Yes, she is a little girl but once you read this you will totally feel the same.
The Fanning was cast in a movie entitled My Sister's Keeper.
The movie based on a book by the same name, is about a girl who sues her parents to stop them from using her as lab rat for her sister who has cancer.
According to Crazy Days and Nights, the director Nick Cassavetes took Fanning to a children’s hospital for cancer patients.
You can read the rest here.
Let me warn you that I am ready with my stake and holy water cause this chick has no soul.
On a happier note comes news of a possible sequel to Anchorman.
This my friends has made me pee my pants..
Picture Side Bar:
Um, okay.
Kidman.
You look shittastic.
You look like a claymation chicken.
Bad.
I'm putting it out there loud and clear…
Stop. With. The. Botox.
So the Swank.
She looks fabulous here.
No heavy man dude face.
Hair looks good, dress is fab.
Thumbs up Swank.
Thumbs up for not looking like a dude with a five head and teeth that can take down a forest.
Ricci and Witherspoon.
At a premiere for their movie about a girl with a pig face or whatever entitled Penelope.
Ricci looks good these days.
No bobble head.
Her five head looks more like a three or four.
Reece.
She can look so sassy some times and other times she looks like she wears mom jeans.
This pic = definitely mom jeans.
**Photos courtesy of Pagesix.com
Cate looking all cute and pregnant and shit.
Her husband Andrew Upton looking all..husband like?
The Portman.
I don't like the Portman for many reasons.
However, here she looks absolutely lovely.
Love the face, love the hair, love the dress love it all, love it.
***photos courtesy of Just Jared
I end with George on the cover of Time.
George.
Hott.
**photo courtesy of Pop Sugar
Sunday is the Oscars.
Watch it homies..
Until then, peaces greases..
On to the gossip.
So Dakota Fanning.
She freaks the shit outta me and I assume you..
I don't like her.
I don't like her face or her teeth.
Yes, she is a little girl but once you read this you will totally feel the same.
The Fanning was cast in a movie entitled My Sister's Keeper.
The movie based on a book by the same name, is about a girl who sues her parents to stop them from using her as lab rat for her sister who has cancer.
According to Crazy Days and Nights, the director Nick Cassavetes took Fanning to a children’s hospital for cancer patients.
You can read the rest here.
Let me warn you that I am ready with my stake and holy water cause this chick has no soul.
On a happier note comes news of a possible sequel to Anchorman.
This my friends has made me pee my pants..
Picture Side Bar:
Um, okay.
Kidman.
You look shittastic.
You look like a claymation chicken.
Bad.
I'm putting it out there loud and clear…
Stop. With. The. Botox.
So the Swank.
She looks fabulous here.
No heavy man dude face.
Hair looks good, dress is fab.
Thumbs up Swank.
Thumbs up for not looking like a dude with a five head and teeth that can take down a forest.
Ricci and Witherspoon.
At a premiere for their movie about a girl with a pig face or whatever entitled Penelope.
Ricci looks good these days.
No bobble head.
Her five head looks more like a three or four.
Reece.
She can look so sassy some times and other times she looks like she wears mom jeans.
This pic = definitely mom jeans.
**Photos courtesy of Pagesix.com
Cate looking all cute and pregnant and shit.
Her husband Andrew Upton looking all..husband like?
The Portman.
I don't like the Portman for many reasons.
However, here she looks absolutely lovely.
Love the face, love the hair, love the dress love it all, love it.
***photos courtesy of Just Jared
I end with George on the cover of Time.
George.
Hott.
**photo courtesy of Pop Sugar
Sunday is the Oscars.
Watch it homies..
Until then, peaces greases..
Wednesday, February 6, 2008
I'm Kind of a Big Deal..
Kiki Fangerton is in rehab.
'Nough said. ...
Wait, wait not enough said..
I wanted to say that maybe Fango went to rehab cause she went all vampiro and attacked someone with those fangoria's of hers.
But then I realized that that wasn't funny.
Eva Mendes, as we know, is already in and apparently out of rehab.
Coincidentally she will be at the same center as Kiki.
Maybe rehab is like the new exclusive discoteca that only the famous can get into.
Question: do you remember any famousos who have gone into rehab and came out addiction free?
Me neither..
Vanity Fair has decided to steal my soul and cancel their annual Oscar party.
dudes.
have a little faith that the strike will be ending soon.
i think someone got lazy and decided they weren't down with throwing this year's greatest kegger.
i mean, i totally understand.
i throw the occasional rager and go balls to the wall, so i can sympathize.
it's still lame though.
Speaking about the strike, it looks to be finito..
This is all well and good but we are in the middle of freaking February people.
There isn't enough time to produce new episodes and summertime will soon be upon us.
So thanks for nothing assholes.
Speaking again and again about Vanity Fair, their annual Hollywood issue features new and former "it" boys and girls, recreating famous scenes from Hitchcock films.
I love me some Hitchcock.
Strangers on a Train = one of my faves of all tizime.
Who is not one of my faves is the Zellweger.
Um, what in the hell happened to her?
She looks like a bit player in a Golden Girls episode.
Well I can't give her true Golden Girl status cause I love me some Blanche, Rose, Dorothy and Sophia.
Don't want to disgrace the GG's with scrunchy face.
how bout some photos, no?
my two dads..
Gwen, Kingston and her pregnancia pooch..
....**
**Us Weekly
**
Um.
What in the hell is she wearing?
I mean this outfit is just unacceptable.
Did she stop by Chico's to get her shop on?
Terrible.
**Us Weekly
Rose.
Look, she looks better.
Maybe a bit like a Smurf but whateves.
The plastic surgery has settled and she is marrying the dude that she had an extramarital affair with, who will keep her in the movie biz for years to come.
Nice.
Dudes.
**
Yeah.
It must feel weird to be bigger then your husband when pregnant or not.
It must also feel weird to be married to the super villain that is Skeletor.
It must also feel weird to have had some sort of sexual relations with that dude to produce these spawns of "The Evil Lord of Destruction"
I feel weird wasting time on these douches..
**People
Peaces Greases.
'Nough said. ...
Wait, wait not enough said..
I wanted to say that maybe Fango went to rehab cause she went all vampiro and attacked someone with those fangoria's of hers.
But then I realized that that wasn't funny.
Eva Mendes, as we know, is already in and apparently out of rehab.
Coincidentally she will be at the same center as Kiki.
Maybe rehab is like the new exclusive discoteca that only the famous can get into.
Question: do you remember any famousos who have gone into rehab and came out addiction free?
Me neither..
Vanity Fair has decided to steal my soul and cancel their annual Oscar party.
dudes.
have a little faith that the strike will be ending soon.
i think someone got lazy and decided they weren't down with throwing this year's greatest kegger.
i mean, i totally understand.
i throw the occasional rager and go balls to the wall, so i can sympathize.
it's still lame though.
Speaking about the strike, it looks to be finito..
This is all well and good but we are in the middle of freaking February people.
There isn't enough time to produce new episodes and summertime will soon be upon us.
So thanks for nothing assholes.
Speaking again and again about Vanity Fair, their annual Hollywood issue features new and former "it" boys and girls, recreating famous scenes from Hitchcock films.
I love me some Hitchcock.
Strangers on a Train = one of my faves of all tizime.
Who is not one of my faves is the Zellweger.
Um, what in the hell happened to her?
She looks like a bit player in a Golden Girls episode.
Well I can't give her true Golden Girl status cause I love me some Blanche, Rose, Dorothy and Sophia.
Don't want to disgrace the GG's with scrunchy face.
how bout some photos, no?
my two dads..
Gwen, Kingston and her pregnancia pooch..
....****Us Weekly
**Um.
What in the hell is she wearing?
I mean this outfit is just unacceptable.
Did she stop by Chico's to get her shop on?
Terrible.
**Us Weekly
Rose.
Look, she looks better.
Maybe a bit like a Smurf but whateves.
The plastic surgery has settled and she is marrying the dude that she had an extramarital affair with, who will keep her in the movie biz for years to come.
Nice.
Dudes.
**Yeah.
It must feel weird to be bigger then your husband when pregnant or not.
It must also feel weird to be married to the super villain that is Skeletor.
It must also feel weird to have had some sort of sexual relations with that dude to produce these spawns of "The Evil Lord of Destruction"
I feel weird wasting time on these douches..
**People
Peaces Greases.
Monday, February 4, 2008
I Am, I Am Superman and I Can Do Anything..
Word..
So Eva Mendes went to rehab this past week.
Why is that news?
It isn't, but according to your friend and mine crazydaysandnights.net, homegirl ended up there cause her addiction caused her to lose her baby.
Was Eva Mendes pregnant?
This dude said she was.
Mind you this is a blind item but how perfect is Eva Mendes for the answer...
I will throw in the other two for your guessing pleasure.
#1 You definitely go to rehab when your addiction costs you your baby.
#2 On Friday night this star pro football player was not recognized by any of the women he was hitting on, and so on Saturday night he brought a stack of trading cards and offered to autograph them for women when he gave them one. This time it worked and he got some action. Too bad he left his wife home. I'm sure she would have understood. OK, OK, he is a quarterback. That is all you are getting.
#3 You would think after the 2nd or 3rd abortion he has paid for this B+/A- cable television actor would stop using the line that he is sterile to women just so he doesn't have to use a condom.
The annual Vanity Fair Hollywood Issue will be in stores soon and the ladies on the cover are pretty in pastels.
Ferrera looks weird, Ellen looks uncomfortable, Blunt's teeth annoy me and Biel looks like a classy lady.
Enjoy
Let me get this right.
Lily Allen had a miscarriage and then her boyfriend dumps her ass.
Nice.
What a class act that one is.
I gotta wonder if he would have stayed if she had had the baby.
I'm not going to wonder too much, I have plenty to worry about, like who in the hell #2 is in the blind item.
douche
If you have not read it yet, and this is the last i will write about this, Michelle Williams released a statement on Friday.
...
Need something to make you happy?
I sure as hell do.
Now, if this is incorrect information, I'm going to become a never nude and make a huge mistake..
Peaces Greases
So Eva Mendes went to rehab this past week.
Why is that news?
It isn't, but according to your friend and mine crazydaysandnights.net, homegirl ended up there cause her addiction caused her to lose her baby.
Was Eva Mendes pregnant?
This dude said she was.
Mind you this is a blind item but how perfect is Eva Mendes for the answer...
I will throw in the other two for your guessing pleasure.
#1 You definitely go to rehab when your addiction costs you your baby.
#2 On Friday night this star pro football player was not recognized by any of the women he was hitting on, and so on Saturday night he brought a stack of trading cards and offered to autograph them for women when he gave them one. This time it worked and he got some action. Too bad he left his wife home. I'm sure she would have understood. OK, OK, he is a quarterback. That is all you are getting.
#3 You would think after the 2nd or 3rd abortion he has paid for this B+/A- cable television actor would stop using the line that he is sterile to women just so he doesn't have to use a condom.
The annual Vanity Fair Hollywood Issue will be in stores soon and the ladies on the cover are pretty in pastels.
Ferrera looks weird, Ellen looks uncomfortable, Blunt's teeth annoy me and Biel looks like a classy lady.
Enjoy
Let me get this right.
Lily Allen had a miscarriage and then her boyfriend dumps her ass.
Nice.
What a class act that one is.
I gotta wonder if he would have stayed if she had had the baby.
I'm not going to wonder too much, I have plenty to worry about, like who in the hell #2 is in the blind item.
douche
If you have not read it yet, and this is the last i will write about this, Michelle Williams released a statement on Friday.
...
Need something to make you happy?
I sure as hell do.
Now, if this is incorrect information, I'm going to become a never nude and make a huge mistake..
Peaces Greases
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