Tracy Jordan: I'm gonna make you a mix tape. You like Phil Collins?

Dudes.
I've missed you all so much.
So, so, so much.
And since our last meeting, so, so, so much has happened.


Christian won Project Runway and is a huge success and everyone wants to be his BFF por vida.
The win was well deserved cause the dude brought it like the Rancho Carne Toro's.
I mean, the mini man made Victoria Poo Face Beckham smile.
One should win the Purple Heart for that shit.
I like this PR win and am very happy about it..
If you are feaning for some more of the feirce, check out his website


Rumors are swirling that Bradical and Angelinical were married in New Orleans.
But they didn't.
So, no story there my friends.
If you would like to read about the non-marriage, check it here


Have we talked about George Clooney's gf?
I'm sure we have.
Have we talked about how she's kinda, how do I put this nicely, Pretty Woman without the snappy comebacks cause she has the personality of paper?
Well, gather around children and talk of the Sarah shall we?
Girlfriend used to live it up in Vegas until my main man Cloonester took her out, dressed her up, got her a passport stamped with countries other then whoresville and made her somewhat respectable.
Now we all know that it would only be a matter of time until someone would release photos of Sarah in black, thigh high boots, a pink shrinky shirt that looped into a short black skirt that put the ho in whore.
Okay, so not really, but close enough.
To see Sarah prior to her refwhoremation, check this out


Orlando Bloom is dating a pretty lady.
The 411 is this way


I got some sweet Privacy Watch for you right here my friends



Dudes.
A little blurb went out a couple of days ago that the Ryan Phillippe and Abbie Cornish are with child.
Who is Abbie Cornish?
Oh just the girl that broke Reece Witherspoon's back.
The dirty bird that is Phillippe has been with a lot of the ladies during his marriage to the Witherspoon, but this one drove Reece to divorce court.
Anywho, the Cornish is laying low and the original blurb was taken down.
But leave it to Defamer to keep the gossip flames burning and post this
Me gusta la Defamer muchismo mas.


How bout a photo sidebar..

Jessica Alba is ready to pop.

I about lost my shit when I saw this dress.
Terrible.
What the hell is this she is wearing?
**Photo provided by Celebutopia


Fergie turned 33 this last week.


Um, girl has got to be 50 something.
I mean, she peed onstage people.
Peed onstage = Depends = Fergie 50 not 33.
**Photo provided by Celebutopia



The Stefani's out and about.





Cammie D has gotten fuglier.
I mean, girl is not aging well at all.
Am I right or just mean?

**Photo provided by Celebutopia



Finally, Suri and Shiloh.

I see cutting and teen pregnancy in their futures.





That is all for now my homies..
Later skaters..

You know, GOB, you might want to start acting like the President. You're beginning to alienate some of the employees.

Hi folks.
Let's catch up shall we..


Academy Awards were last weekend.
Marion Cotillard.
I love, love, love, amour d'amour, amour d'amour her.
Her dress was utter perfection and to be honest only she could have pulled it off..
Her speech for winning Best Actress was honest and lovely and I think she is the shit.
Stare at her..




Um, also, not only is this lady a babe but her boyfriend is a stone cold fox.
His name is Guillaume Canet and he is a frenchy, an actor and he's hot.
I have placed some photos of them for your perusal..
Yep, they are totally making out in the second one..


**Photos provided by IMDB and the fashion spot..




Daniel Day won for best actor and I was happy.
His shoes stick out like a sore thumb but whateves.
His wife looked like she purchased her dress at Craptastical Patchwork of Poo R Us, but I still love the bitch.


**Photos provided by IMDB


Tilda Swinton was the surprise win.
What did not surprise me was the terrible, terrible potato sack of goth she wore.

This made up for it..

**Photo provided by EW and Jezebel




My Javier won for Supporting Actor and he = rad.
He looked good, said some truly beautiful shit in Spanish during his acceptance speech and drank Pacifico's with his Penelope at the after party.
Good form Javier..

**Photo provided by People


Who looked good you asked?
I must say there were only a few.


Garner cleaned up nicely.
I don't like the bottom of the dress too much.
But from the waist up, she looks decent.

Don't get all crazy.
I still don't like her.
I am sad to say that Ben not being there has not put any more of my faith in their marriage.
But whateves let her have a life.
And if things don't work out with Ben, there is always Gary Busey.


I liked the Swank dress too.
You know, I have never found her to be funny or thought her personality was all that fabulous.
However, her banter with Seacrest Out was pretty good and she did not seem all fake and bake.
So I'll give her a high five and walk away in hopes she doesn't ruin it by not thanking me in a Oscar winning speech.




My BFF Keri Russell looked pretty faboo.
Her man love was with her and that always makes me happy.
She was very witty and funny during the Seacrest Out chitchat.
But she always is.
As usual Keri = awesome.


**photos provided by People



The bad were bad.


Cami D looked like poo.
Girl, brush your hair and take an f'ing shower.
It is not difficult.
You turn the water on, pour some shampoo on your hand; rub your hands together and then put that on your hair.
Rinse.
Then you use this thing called soap to clean off the stink.
Rinse.
If you cannot do that, you cannot function in life and I bid you good day.


Ellen. Page.
No me gusta.

She looked old, uncomfortable, unhappy and outside the cool boundary.
She is too young to look fug.




Speaking of outside the cool boundary, Diablo Cody.

Look, I've decided that I just don't like the girl.

From her suffocating girl love for Page, to the constant reminders that she was a stripper, to the vagina high leopard dress, to the awkward, "I just won the science fair prize," speed walk off the stage after winning the Oscar, which, by the way, will lead to her sure fire demise.
You see she didn’t have to be a stripper to pay the bills.
She did it cause she wanted to be clever.
She didn't have to wear the vagina high leopard dress.
She wore it to fill the "cool" indie writer against conformity role.
She didn't have to release her nudie pics online.
She did it cause she's a douche and realized that her reputation was getting a bad rap cause she dissed Stuart Wiseman and won an Oscar which in turn labeled her a sell out.
Maybe I shouldn't be so hard on the chick.
So I will let Andy Samberg do it for me.
I love me some Andy.
I don't love me some Cody.

P.S. My post on Diablo Cody = meow.

**Photos provided by People and Just Jared





Moving on...

The season finale of Project Runway is this Wednesday.
What has been missed?
Crytardo got the boot.
Then he came back on the reunion show and looked like a complete and total asshole.
A PR viewer wrote in and asked why in the hell Crytardo cried like a freakin river.
Crytardo made some call about women crying all the time or whateves and I hoped that somehow, someway, Crytardo would implode.


Sweet Pea got the boot as well and I was happy.
She really needed to get the fuck out.
She whined and babied her way through every challenge and stressed me out during the process.
The woman has no backbone.
Until the reunion show where she basically told everyone how rad she was and how celebrities think she is the shit and I wished somehow, someway, Tim would cut the bitch.

And then there was Carmen.
Um.
Girlfriend was bummed cause no one missed her and everyone and their mom dissed her talent.
She cried a lot, made weird painful faces and gave Heidi lip.
I was hoping that somehow, someway Santiago would come out on the runway, throw some water on Carmen and watch as she cried that she was melting, melting..


Finally Victoroboticon.
Wow.
This one is a piece of work.
All I have to say is what Heidi had to say, "Victorya is a little uptight, no?"
Totally.
Lame.
Robot.


Christian won the fan favorite and $10,000.
Michael Knight brought the check out along with the 25 pounds he has gained since last season.


This week’s show was Part 1 of the finale.
Rami, Christian, Chris and Jillian were the finalist.
Until Chris showed Heidi, Michael Kors and Nina his collection of, "I make dresses for old ladies using velvet and human hair."
Really?
Come on Chris.
You needed to bring it and you brought Chico's.
So Rami, Jillian and Christian are headed to Bryant Park and the winner will be revealed next week...



That is all I have and I don't have anymore.
Until next time, peaces greases..

Another day, another Dakota Fanning Bitchtastic Story..

Hi folks..

On to the gossip.


So Dakota Fanning.
She freaks the shit outta me and I assume you..
I don't like her.
I don't like her face or her teeth.
Yes, she is a little girl but once you read this you will totally feel the same.
The Fanning was cast in a movie entitled My Sister's Keeper.
The movie based on a book by the same name, is about a girl who sues her parents to stop them from using her as lab rat for her sister who has cancer.
According to Crazy Days and Nights, the director Nick Cassavetes took Fanning to a children’s hospital for cancer patients.
You can read the rest here.
Let me warn you that I am ready with my stake and holy water cause this chick has no soul.




On a happier note comes news of a possible sequel to Anchorman.
This my friends has made me pee my pants..



Picture Side Bar:

Um, okay.
Kidman.
You look shittastic.
You look like a claymation chicken.
Bad.
I'm putting it out there loud and clear…
Stop. With. The. Botox.




So the Swank.
She looks fabulous here.
No heavy man dude face.
Hair looks good, dress is fab.
Thumbs up Swank.
Thumbs up for not looking like a dude with a five head and teeth that can take down a forest.





Ricci and Witherspoon.
At a premiere for their movie about a girl with a pig face or whatever entitled Penelope.
Ricci looks good these days.
No bobble head.
Her five head looks more like a three or four.
Reece.
She can look so sassy some times and other times she looks like she wears mom jeans.
This pic = definitely mom jeans.
**Photos courtesy of Pagesix.com


Cate looking all cute and pregnant and shit.
Her husband Andrew Upton looking all..husband like?



The Portman.
I don't like the Portman for many reasons.
However, here she looks absolutely lovely.
Love the face, love the hair, love the dress love it all, love it.
***photos courtesy of Just Jared



I end with George on the cover of Time.
George.
Hott.
**photo courtesy of Pop Sugar




Sunday is the Oscars.
Watch it homies..
Until then, peaces greases..

I'm Kind of a Big Deal..

Kiki Fangerton is in rehab.
'Nough said. ...
Wait, wait not enough said..
I wanted to say that maybe Fango went to rehab cause she went all vampiro and attacked someone with those fangoria's of hers.
But then I realized that that wasn't funny.



Eva Mendes, as we know, is already in and apparently out of rehab.
Coincidentally she will be at the same center as Kiki.
Maybe rehab is like the new exclusive discoteca that only the famous can get into.
Question: do you remember any famousos who have gone into rehab and came out addiction free?
Me neither..


Vanity Fair has decided to steal my soul and cancel their annual Oscar party.
dudes.
have a little faith that the strike will be ending soon.
i think someone got lazy and decided they weren't down with throwing this year's greatest kegger.
i mean, i totally understand.
i throw the occasional rager and go balls to the wall, so i can sympathize.
it's still lame though.


Speaking about the strike, it looks to be finito..
This is all well and good but we are in the middle of freaking February people.
There isn't enough time to produce new episodes and summertime will soon be upon us.
So thanks for nothing assholes.


Speaking again and again about Vanity Fair, their annual Hollywood issue features new and former "it" boys and girls, recreating famous scenes from Hitchcock films.
I love me some Hitchcock.
Strangers on a Train = one of my faves of all tizime.
Who is not one of my faves is the Zellweger.
Um, what in the hell happened to her?
She looks like a bit player in a Golden Girls episode.
Well I can't give her true Golden Girl status cause I love me some Blanche, Rose, Dorothy and Sophia.
Don't want to disgrace the GG's with scrunchy face.



how bout some photos, no?


my two dads..





Gwen, Kingston and her pregnancia pooch..
....**
**Us Weekly


**
Um.
What in the hell is she wearing?
I mean this outfit is just unacceptable.
Did she stop by Chico's to get her shop on?
Terrible.
**Us Weekly


Rose.
Look, she looks better.
Maybe a bit like a Smurf but whateves.
The plastic surgery has settled and she is marrying the dude that she had an extramarital affair with, who will keep her in the movie biz for years to come.
Nice.



Dudes.
**
Yeah.
It must feel weird to be bigger then your husband when pregnant or not.
It must also feel weird to be married to the super villain that is Skeletor.
It must also feel weird to have had some sort of sexual relations with that dude to produce these spawns of "The Evil Lord of Destruction"
I feel weird wasting time on these douches..
**People

Peaces Greases.

I Am, I Am Superman and I Can Do Anything..

Word..

So Eva Mendes went to rehab this past week.
Why is that news?
It isn't, but according to your friend and mine crazydaysandnights.net, homegirl ended up there cause her addiction caused her to lose her baby.
Was Eva Mendes pregnant?
This dude said she was.
Mind you this is a blind item but how perfect is Eva Mendes for the answer...
I will throw in the other two for your guessing pleasure.

#1 You definitely go to rehab when your addiction costs you your baby.

#2 On Friday night this star pro football player was not recognized by any of the women he was hitting on, and so on Saturday night he brought a stack of trading cards and offered to autograph them for women when he gave them one. This time it worked and he got some action. Too bad he left his wife home. I'm sure she would have understood. OK, OK, he is a quarterback. That is all you are getting.

#3 You would think after the 2nd or 3rd abortion he has paid for this B+/A- cable television actor would stop using the line that he is sterile to women just so he doesn't have to use a condom.




The annual Vanity Fair Hollywood Issue will be in stores soon and the ladies on the cover are pretty in pastels.
Ferrera looks weird, Ellen looks uncomfortable, Blunt's teeth annoy me and Biel looks like a classy lady.
Enjoy



Let me get this right.
Lily Allen had a miscarriage and then her boyfriend dumps her ass.
Nice.
What a class act that one is.
I gotta wonder if he would have stayed if she had had the baby.
I'm not going to wonder too much, I have plenty to worry about, like who in the hell #2 is in the blind item.
douche



If you have not read it yet, and this is the last i will write about this, Michelle Williams released a statement on Friday.
...



Need something to make you happy?
I sure as hell do.
Now, if this is incorrect information, I'm going to become a never nude and make a huge mistake..



Peaces Greases

sweet jesus let this be done..

Strike May Be Ovah

UPDATE!
Rad